gimme fongu.
Fuck you?
NO, fongu.
Thats it you little fuck.
All I want is some fongu.
You aint fuckin me, you
little queer.
No, please dont...
bANg kA pOW
sszggggsssgggg
g F O N G U ..
. asciiSCRIBBLE .
: gsgggggs gggsssggg .
zzz gg .
: gs gggsssggx gssg
: z :
gg g g g g s
s: gssg gsz bbgg
: z g zss :
gggsssszzz+ -------- -- -- ---- --- - - - - - - -- -- -+zzzsssgggg
zero zero too-n
Wuhlome to another issue of fongu. eye lub joo tew. Because of the
walloping success we had for the first issue, we decided to write/draw
another issue of fongu... more fongu for you and me... more more more more.
yessir... more more more eye want steaks-n-gravy.
I wanted to discuss my disapointment with the reaction we had after
the first issue... no one particpated in the fongu revolution. Hence, we
are forced to inflict extreme pain and despair upon those who did not
particpate, we fucking wasted our times sending you the damn file, and this
is what we get? MAKE FUN OF ME IN THE NEXT FONGU, ME ME ME Me, MAKE FUN
OF ME IN THE NEXT FONGU, MAKE FUN OF ME, EWHEAT, MAKE FUN OF ME!! NOW NOW
NOW NOW NOW BEFORE EYE HAVE TO GO TO BED BECUZ EYEM SOOOOOOO STONED FROM
SHOOTING MARIJUANA. I say I piss on you niggers sure your music may be
good, but I still piss on you You did not particpate in the revolution,
hence you dont get an article or parody about you. No sir, you dirty
multicultural niggers. So this issue, I will only make fun of the staff
of Fongu, not outsiders... Unless you particpate in the revolution... you
may be made fun of in fongu.
- Ways to particpate in the fongu revolution -
1. /redir ansi /msg piker eye blow goats and I want my FUCKING
DR. PEPPER AND DING DONG NOW, GODDAMMIT, YOU STUPID NO-LIFE
FTP OP, EYE DARE YOU TO KILL ME NOW, GO AHEAD, /KILL your
name NOW YOU FUCKING PUSSY, JUST BECAUSE PPL BLOW YOU, THAT
DOESNT MEAN YER THE SHIT... SPIT FUCKIN PUSSY.
2. /topic ansi BOLDEYE WANT MY FUCKING DR. PEPPER AND DING DONG.
3. Make an ascii for fongu, or write a FUNNY article... hence,
no group promotionals, no board promotionals, no fuck the
scene shit, no lets all go to BlahBlahNet, instead of Efnet
shit
Yeah yeah, I know, most ppl dont read the editorals... well, its
because theyre dumb. If you are reading this and for some strange reason
it affects you whatsoever... particpate in the revolution.
Happy revolution Spring 96.
el shitty0 memberlist....
Fongu members/contributors
editors
ewheat/fahrenheit
artists
miasma/scribble/fahrenheit
writers
ewheat/fahrenheit/psybrrape/spook/mroctober
- Scripting fun -------------------------------------------- by ewh3atile ---
cut-n-paste this in your fuckin textbox/phoenix/zephyr/dread scripts...
alias fongu
/say eYE iS a FONGU rEADER.
/say pHEAR mAH iNTELLIGENCE.
/exec rm y0lk*.*
/exec rm dto*.*
/exec rm bliz*.*
/exec rm cnb*.*
/exec rm jonas*.*
/exec rm ant*.*
/exec rm flu*.*
/exec rm pork*.*
/si eYE rEWL sO mUCH, fONGU 100 aLL tHE wAY, bABY
---------------------------------------- phear my irchaxoring skillz --------
psybrappe is a stoner on irc... phear him, he gets chicks.
-lewk at me, im st on red no icr----------------------------by psybr rap e--
IRC - Potheads!
H0j0j0j0j0, here eye yam again, at home on fr1day night with n0thing tew
dew becawze eye have gn0 friends. HmMmMMMMmmmMm, maybe eyell get 0n eye -
are - see and see h0w many friends eye can make *flex* ill be cool then!
WoO, 26.4k conn3kt.. eyem elite now. warp-speed ahead! Hohum. My leet
un1x sh3ll account is so perdy. woo eye wanna fUck the internet. Maybe I
will g0 loOkin for a cyber-wh0r3 once eye get connected tew this elite ass
s3rv3r. woo. here eye go. *** connected to irc.imalamer.com y1ppee!
Here eye go. joining numbah anSi. wah00. hey. hi. hello. Yeah, eye
yam the mastah because eye get a lot of greets. hummm eye wonder if theyd
w0rsh1p me mOre if eye t0ld th3m eye dew drUgz?!?! Eye have n0thing to lose
so h3r3 w3 g0!
h0j0, eye just wanna annOunCe that EyE YaM a pOth3ad and eye sm0ke muhh
stAsh awn EyE-aRe-SeE. YaM eye el1t3? b0w to me my non-d0pe-sm0king lamurz!
Eye yam so elite becuz eye smoke dOp3. donut ewe see muh PoWeR?!? *flex* U
best start b0wing. whutz that?!? eye suck becawse eye do drugz? h0j0, eye
yam a walking dictionairy on d0p3, bitz, becawse eye have no life, so eye
sp3nd my entire life r34ding about how much marijuana iz. so phawk ewe cuz
muhh w33333333d is more elYte for muhh body than ur m0mmie wuz last night!
Eye think they aRe impr3ssed. eye gn0 eye yam. eye yam so cool and eye
gn0 it. WooHa! eye can suckstart a leafblowah now! hey laymuhrz, give m3
h34d! n0w! eye crave he4d! suck muh nutz bitz. call m3 da pimp daddie-o
and t3ll me h0w goOd muh d0p3 iz! eye gn0, muh dOpe is s0000 good that when
ewe make lub to me ewe are y00sing me ph0r muh weed. yez!
oh-kay. hmmmz. whUt tew dew now. eye gn0, eyell t3ll them eye yam s00
st0ned! and theyll thEEnk eyem cooler! yay! eye yam so intelligent, eye
gn0 how to make phriendz on eye-are-see! WooHa! HeY muh pet laymuhrz, eye
jUst sm0k3d a l0t of d0pe. yam eye cool? dont even answer, eye gn0 eye is
and ewe ahr not becawse ewe arent st0n3d and eye yam! wooha, eye see bl000
monkeyz and starz! eye yam so stoned, eye think eye yam flying! i am s0000
elYte now.
n0w they thEEnk eye yam st0ned. yay! mebbe theyll thEEnk eye gawt st0n3d
with muh friendz eye always claim to have. yez! h3y, eye was out wiff muh
bezt phriend Martha. w3 g0t st0n3d. yay. see, eye yam more elYte than ewe
becaws3 eye have a phriend named Martha. *flex* eye am s00 coOl becawse eye
have phriendz. eye never come 0n eye-are-see becawse eye have a life. eyem
only h3re n0w becawse eye didnt wunt to g0 get laid wiff muh friend and his
g1rlphriend and h3r sister. eye think that sh0uld convince them,eye hope!
WooHa. Eye sh0ut out sOme m0re greetz becawse eye yam the p0pular st0ner
on eye-are-see. all of muh cyber-buddi3z thEEnk eye have a lYfe n0w. Eyem
s0 coOl. Eye cannawt wait for ewheat to g3t on eye-are-see so w3 can smoke
sum liquid marijuana. wooha.
Sp3ak of th3 DEViL himselph. ewheat! letz g0 sm0ke our cyber-d0pe and be
tha kewlio-est nigguhz awn eye-are-see. woO, yay, *flex*. We ahr so elYte.
We be da dOpe-smokinest buddiez awn eye-are see yay! eyell masturbate tew-
night thEEnking of ewheat and eye sm0king d0pe. wooha. yum.
what? oh shit! my mom is calling me! i have to go before she takes my
computer away! bye folks. im going to miss you all! my irc friends!
psybah!
now, i put my neck out for this... phear it.
- Interview with the IRCOP ---------------------------------------------3t-
*** ewheat juan@mail.ee.net has joined pikerblows
*** Topic for pikerblows: woah, there dewdleboy, yer really interviewin me
*** Users on pikerblows: ewheat @piker
*** Mode change +o ewheat on channel pikerblows by: piker.
ewheat hey
ewheat woah.
piker hello
ewheat hey
piker hello
ewheat hey
piker uhm... stop
ewheat hey... oh okay....
piker INTERVIEW ME NOW, BITCH OR EYE WILL KILL JOO
ewheat oh... okay... eye lub joo
ewheat So, tell me whats your current occupation in real life and
irc
piker Well, I used to be a Postal office employee... and also Im a IRCOP
on irc... basically thats all I do all day...
ewheat Oh... why arent you a postal office employee anymore? If thats
not too personal?
piker Oh, dont worry, its not too personal, well you know all that stuff
about deranged postal office workers, right? Shooting and stuff?
ewheat uhh... yeah?
piker no no, I didnt shoot anyone... ysee after the first shooting, I
decided itd be pretty cool to do something similar to that, so I
went over to this local fuckhouse and bought Dr. Juans Get-A-
Coming-Real-Quick-and-Fast pills, those kind that make you jizz
every 2 seconds. Anyways, I took around 5 of them and went to my
workplace in around an hour...
ewheat uhh.... go on.
piker And hell broke loose... I took my pants off, went in the backroom
to pick up my mail delivery... all the meanies were making fun of me
but HA HA HA HA I jiZZED ALL OVER THEM!! A GAZLLION TIMES! PHEAR
ME. THEN I STARTED RUNNING ALL AROUND THE BUILDING DRAINING MYSELF
ON ALL THE WALLS, IT WUZ AWESOME!!@
ewheat woah... talk about crazy internet kids.
piker kiD? i AINT NO KID, EYE GOT MORE JIZZ ON MY SCREEN THAN ALL THE
JOLT CODA YOULL DRINK IN YOUR LIFE.
ewheat I dont drink Jolt, I drink Dr. Pepper.
piker I DONT CARE, EYE GOT MORE JIZZ IN MY JIZZ JAR THAN HOW MUCH DR.
PEPPER YEW WILL DRINK IN YER LIFETIME... MAH DOG HAS MORE JIZZ
IN HIS ASS TEW... PHEAR ME!
ewheat uugh... uhm... okay, enuff of that.
piker Then I got fired from my job, then I met this kid... he introduced
me to irc... and I learned how to blow people with dcc chats and
ctcp notices.. thats how I got my o:line.
ewheat Wow... so how many ppl have blown you?
piker None... well... only 2... My dog and goldfish... although I prefer
the goldfish.
ewheat why?
piker Well, the size fits, and goldfishes dont have teeth, and theyre
used to sucking up water all day... so it had room for my jizz.
ewheat oh okay... i phear... hey, uhm... eye gotta go to bed becuz eyem
so stoned and drunk from anti-freeze.
piker oh WINK WINK I UNDERSTAND, WINK WINK EYE AM SMOKING TEW!
ewheat WINK WINK
piker oh, by the way, tell anyone about this, and Ill k-line you from
every server out there.
ewheat my lips are sealed. snicker
*** Signoff piker phEAR MAH 2 INCH DIXOR
spewk knowz the irchaxoring skillz...
-/-r4/ ansi takeover---------------------------------------by spook-----
ok... tyme for eye are sea.... hang on phone... what did you
say? oh you must have the wrong number.. i dont know any
girls ok back to my computer... yes yes this will be
/-r4d... /load elitetakeoverscript.irc wOOO wOOO it gets me
horny just to load it.. oh look at that elite ascii screen
made by who? wh0dini? who the fuck is that lamer? bah.. oh
well.. back to irc... now for an elite nick.. hmm /nick
kLEET.. yeah now theyll think im elite i know.. i could go be
elite and takeover ansi.. then everyone would think im really
kewl.. ok lets see... netsplit irc.texas.net irc.ais.net.. wait?
what the fuck does that mean? dammit script tell me how to
takeover that channel!! well i guess i should start by joining
it.. ok.. /j ansi wait.. what mom?... oh.. no i dont need any
p00ty tonight put yer panties back on... ok... i got it...
ill tell them im like really fucking high on like freon or
something..yeah freon.. that is ELiTE! ok... whoa everyone..
im like totally smashed on freon right now.. yeah man.. look
at all that colors... *** mode change +b kLEET*!*laymenet*.com
on Channel ansi by spoOk *** you have been kicked from
Channel ansi by spoOk :DreaD: shut the fuck up you cocksmoker
what?!@ shit.. spook you fucking lamer.. hmm... ok now what...
uhm... /j ansi... *** cannot join channel banned from channel
dammit.. fuck... /m spoOk why did you ban me? *spoOk* cuz yer
a lamer /m spoOk unban me... ill be good *spoOk* sigh
fine... yay! that dumbass spoOk... hes gunna get it when i
take the channel over... /j ansi wiat.. im the only one it
here.. yay im opd.. i took over the channel.. here they cme!
therere all joining.. wiat. *** server modes +ooo spoOk
maytrickz r3ptile on ansi by irc2.ais.net.. uhm.. shit...
/deop spoOk yeah.. there you go mother fucker! got you back
for banning me! *** mode change +b ?L??T?!??ay?e?et?.c?m on
channel ansi by MayTrickZ *** you have been kicked from ansi
my MayTrickZ -zZz- lamer -zZz- fuck... ah well.. i
gots respect now.. i took over ansi for three whole minutes..
ooo that makes me horny... hey mom! i changed my mind.. take
off yer panties and get down here! now!!
spoOk@isis.gahanna.k12.oh.us
i phear trip for this... he can bust rhymes.
-the happy pap cat in the hat--------------------------------by trip-------
Dr Suess High On CoLoReD BlOcKs
i do not phear.
i do not hear
your complains about the scene.
i dont want to be mean,
but i think your opinion is obscene.
the kiddie cryed, yOuR NoT eLiTe!@
Fuck off, said STC, big and lean.
Neurotic will no longer doodle.
hE r0cKeD!@, said Ti
EyE WiLl nOt dRaW, not with a poodle
Nor will I use the lowercase I
not even for a noodle,
said NC, with a smile, sly.
Ewheat, boy, he is whacky.
he phears anyone who can hackey.
he is deff but not dumb!@
i can feel the vibrations,
when my ear sheaths my thumb.
DeWdZ, tHiZ hIpPiE CrAcK ReWlZ!@, exclaimed Misfit.
Transient said, Fuq that, take a bong hit.
Bedlam arrived, all-a-huffin
Dew i smell drugz?!@ Bad doodleboys!@
The two promptly bashed his head till it caved in.
aCk!@ ThAt HuRt!@ Froinlaven!@
/ ascii and article by fahrenheit, i lub joo fah... /
fh
----+Fahrenheit+--------------------------------------------------------------
Wh0rd, dat gangsta rappa fahrenheit is here bringin y0 gnads a funky article
f0 muh man ewheat in dat leet new bastard of an e-mag f0ngu. eye dont gno if
any of you peepz have noticed it yet, but there seems to be just about a
fucking new group at least every otha week. This to me seems very queer. and
all of j00 who know me know eye beat queers on a regular basis. true, some of
these new groups are just a combination of a group that is still alive with
another group that sucked tests and should have never been formed in da first
place, but fo da majority, most of the groups that are being formed today are
being founded by:
1 some fag who made it to a SEMI-DECENT group so he thinks hes pretty hot
sheeit and decided to make it on his own.
2 some guy who sucks FUCKING DICK and isnt getting into any groups, so he
decides to start his OWN group to molest the scene even more
now eye gno yer saying, dat nigga fah is right! ive seen groups even try to
get draers by publicizing da fact that ld! draws fo dem! well, what da fuck!?
just because ONE good artist is in da group doesnt make the group bombodious.
da same rule applies with every scene. even juarez! tonight a guy eye know who
has been askin me for asciis NON-STOP ever since eye did him one for his board
he asked for one for his board, and i made the mistake of saying yes, so now
hes asked me for shit for his h/p mag, and tonight for his warez group.comes
up and says, Hey man. Im starting a warez group, can you do me a .DIZ? Well
this bothered me a hack of a lot, and not just because he was getting really
annoyin asking me for .DIZs whenever he comes up with something else he can
get asciis for from nice guys like me, but bec0z he wanted to start a group
and I *KNOW* he had no reason to. The following text is the memorized log
of the things we talked about...
HIM Hey man. Im starting a warez group, can you do me a .DIZ?
ME What!? Why the fuck are you starting a warez group!?
HIM So I can get free software
ME What the fuck!? Why dont you just get shit from DODs releases and shit!?
HIM DOD??? And why not? Its just a couple guys trading software!
ME You dont even know who DOD is and you wanna start a warez group!?!? And
what the fuck happened here? If its a WAREZ GROUP its a WAREZ GROUP. And
if its just a couple guys fucking trading software its a couple guys
fucking trading software! What do you have to offer the scene!?BTW: I
hope you read my intriguing article on the scene in this issue
HIM Well, the group isnt even OFFICIAL yet! And if were trading LOTS of
warezyea, lets of warez my ass, you havent even heard of DOD!why not
let other ppl get it too?
ME So its a couriering group?
HIM Ummm, I guess.
ME What the fuck!? You dont even know what the fuck you are!? Oh yea!!note
the sarcastic toneYou *REALLY* put a lot of thought into this.
HIM Im sorry I ever mentioned itgrumble Now Im going to go spank it in
the closet with a thumb in my ass while I think of more pathetic things
to ask you to do asciis for....
get da picture? if your group will do absolutely NOTHING to
contribute to the scene, please, do us ALL a favahr and dont start another
group so that we have to go through a large list of files to get the latest
trank! pack off of some ftp site that actually still carries art paqs. it only
makes life harder for us. and if your doing it to make yourself look cooler IT
AINT WORKIN! YER STILL THE SAME FAGGOT THAT YA WERE BEFORE! bAH! fuck dis! like
this will change yer mind anyways.. eat a dick...
fAHRENHEIT
tRANK!/bASIC/sUAVE
i didnt start any of those did i?
woah, im a 0-day kid... woah.
- oh warez, oh warez... eye dream of yew -----------------------------3t/rts-
7:30 A.M.
BLINK BLINK AWW MOM, YEW WAKED ME UP AT 7:30, ON A SUNDAY? THATS
TOO LATE, MOM!! MOM!!! WHERES MY TIE? WHERES MY POCKET PROTECTOR? MOM!
I GOTTA GO TO CHURCH, PLEASE TAKE ME IN YOUR CARAVAN... MOM!! HURRY UP!!!!
SIGH FINALLY, EYE WANT TO GO TO CHURCH.
7:45 A.M.
CHURCH SHIT... ALLAH ALLAH, GOD GOD AMEN AMEN
10:00 A.M.
MOM, TAKE ME TO DENNYS NOW, I WANT THE BIG BOYS MEAL? WHAT? I
STILL HAVE TO EAT THE LITTLE BOYS HAPPY MEAL? AWWW MOM!!! I WANT A BIG
BOY MEAL! GRUNT SIGH ALLRIGHT, EYE WILL HAVE THE HAPPY MEAL, ONLY THIS
ONCE MOM, HEY, DONT YOU LAUGH, IM AN ADULT, MOM... GRR NO, MOM, IM NOT
BADMOUTHING YOU, MOM... NO, MOM IM NOT MAD... WAIT... MOM, I DIDNT MEAN TO
MAKE YOU CRY... AFTER ALL, I AM 18, YOU GOTTA LET ME MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS,
MOM... ALLRIGHT ALLRIGHT, I WILL EAT THE HAPPY MEAL, ONLY FOR YOU MOM.
GRUBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE
11:45 A.M.
OKAY MOM, GO TO BED MOM, ILL BE IN MY ROOM ON THE COMPUTER... GO TO
BED MOM, YES I DIDNT FORGET MY BIBLE...
ALLRIGHT, TURN UP THE JUICE, PUTER BOY... EYE LUB JOO COMPUTER, YEW
ARE MY BEST FRIEND... NO MOM, GOD IS MY BEST FRIEND... NOW GO TO BED, MOM...
JEESH... CD TM ... TM.... ATDT1-800-ZERO-DAY ... LOGIN STONER PASSWORD
LSD... YEZ, MAH ACCOUNT STILL WERKS... IRC... /NICK STONER... /DCC CHAT
WAREZBOT.... /MSG WAREZBOT .INVITE STONER .... /J WAREZ1 ... WORD
EVERYONE, UHH, I JUST WOKE UP... EYE AM SO STONED... I GOT SO BAKED LAST
NIGHT... HEY, WORDUP LSDSMOKE ... SMOKED ANY GOOD LSD RECENTLY? WORD...
WH0RD.... YEAH... WH0RD... EYE SMOKED LSD TWO NIGHTS AGO, BUT THAT WAS TOO
PUSSY FOR ME... SO I DECIED TO SMOKE... WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD, I SMOKED... MAGIC
MUSHROOMS... YES... PHEAR ME, WH0RD WH0RD, I SMOKED THE SHROOMS... WH0RD.
ALLRIGHT, GOT ANY NEW WAREZ? WOAH... POT-GROW.EXE? WOAH, EYE GOTTA GET
THAT... THE WAY IM GROWING MY POT JUICE ISNT WORKING... I GOTTA LEARN
MORE WAYS... /MSG POT-DCC XDCC SEND 1... WOW... 10 MEGS? JEESH... SIGH
/SETAWAY eYE aM sTONED...
12:15 P.M.
T.V. Flipping
Wow... Mr. Rogers Neighboorhood... oh, damn Ive seen this one
5 times... god... that blows... ooh... barney... no... seen it... Wonder
Years... seen it... Babar... seen it... curious george... seen it... sigh
pop in vcr ALLRIGHT, THERES NO SUCH MOVIE AS WIZARD OF OZ... EYE PHEAR
WIZ OF OZ! EYE PHEAR
1:45 P.M.
Word, WH0RD, MAH DCC IS DONE... ALLRIGHT... HEY, WHERE DID POTBOY
GO? DAMN... I NEEDED SOME 0-DAY SHIT FROM HIM... HEY, WORDUP LSDSMOKE...
WORD, YOU BEEN HERE? WELL, I HAVENT... I WUZ SO STONED... I THOUGHT....
UM... MY HOUSE WAS IN A TORANDO... THEN I STARTED SEEING THOSE LITTLE
MUNCHKINS IN MAH ROOM... YEAH, WEIRD? WH0RD WH0RD, SHIT I WUZ SO STONED
MAN... WH0RD... WHAT? WHAT DID I SMOKE? NO, FUCK SMOKING, I DIDNT SMOKE
SHIT, YES, PHEAR, I SHOT SHIT THIS TIME, PHEAR PHEAR WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD PHEAR
EYE SHOT ACID... YEZ, EYE DID IT... WHERE DID I GET ACID? OF COURSE
ACDU0396.ZIP, WHERE ELSE? JEESH... STUPID LAMER THINKS HE KNOWS EVERYTHING
ABOUT DRUGS... ALLRIGHT, NOW EYEM GOING TO DOWNLOAD THE FILE... DAMN
MY MIRC ACCOUNT GOT DELETED SO I GOTTA USE THIS SHITTY SHELL... GOD, SHELL
SUCKS, ITS TOO HARD... JEESH
1:50 P.M.
POPPING IN VCR
W0RD, EYE PHEAR... BAMBI... YES, EYE LUB JOO BAMBI, EYE WANT TO
BUTTFUXOR YOU, BAMBIS MOM, WOO, YEW ARE SO SEXY... EYE WANT YEW, MRS. BAMBI
... WHAT? WAILING NOOOOO!!! BAMBIS MOM DIED? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
CRYING BASTARDS! CRYING SNIFF SNIFF WORD, BAMBI MET A NEW BUNNY
FRIEND, WH0RD, HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HES SO CUTE AND FUNNY, HAHHAHAHAHA EYE
WANT A DOLL JUST LIKE HIM... HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA HES SOOOOO CEWTE!!!!! CUTE!!
3:00 P.M.
W0RD, MAH DOWNLOAD IS DONE... WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD, EYE LUB 0-DAY
WH0RD... HEY, EVERYONE, I GOT SO STONED, EYE KILLED MY MOM! YEAH! WORD
IF I DONT SHOW UP ON IRC TOMMORROW, THAT MEANZ EYE GOT BUSTED... ALLRIGHT?
YEW UNDERSTAND... SNICKER HEY WHAT? NO THE COPS ARE HERE? NOOOO???
NOOOO, YEW CANT HAVE ME.... BYE GUYS, I GOTTA RUN FROM THE COPS, MAN...
/LEAVE WAREZ1 /NICK ACIDBOY /MSG WAREZBOT IDENT WAREZWAREZ /MSG WAREZBOT
INFO YeW RoXoR MAH WORLD StonER, YeW WIlL Be MIzzED... /MSG WAREZBOT
.INVITE ACIDBOY... /J WAREZ1 ... YEAH YEAH, WORD, I KNOW STONER... YEAH
HE GOT BUSTED, IM HIS NEIGHBORHOOD... YEAH IM USING HIS ACCOUNT... REALLY.
YEAH... I CAN SEE HIM OUTSIDE... WOAH... HES YELLING, WOAH, HE JUST BEAT
UP THE COP? WOAH HOLEE FUCK! HE DID, HE BEAT UP THE FUCKING COP! WORD!
I PHEAR... GIMME OPS... ALLRIGHT, THANKS POTBOY... /TOPIC STONER JUST BEAT
UP THE COPS... PHEAR THAT! HEY, EYEM GUNNA CALL THE LOCAL BOARDS AND
UPLOAD THIS SHIT... WHAT? HOW DID I GET IT? IM ON STONERS ACCOUNT,
REMEMBER? SO HEWK ME UP WITH THE AFFILS HE HAD... BECUZ IM ON HIS ACCOUNT
IM NOT HIM... DUDE, IM NOT HIM! YOU LITTLE FUCKER, IM NOT HIM, DAMMIT
YEW THINK YEW ARE FUNNY? DAMMIT... /BK FUNNYGUY wHOz DA BoZZ nOW?
H0H0H0H0H0H0H0H0H0 WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD PHEAR MAH ASS. BYE BYE GUYS... STONER
FOREVER!
/SI CALLIN BOARDS.
4:00 P.M.
ATDT 1-614-NOT-4YOU... LOGIN : STONER PASSWORD : WEEDWEED....
ALLLRIGHT, GOTTA TALK TO SYSOP ABOUT MY NEW NICK... PAGE. .... DAMN...
NOT THERE... PAGE.... PAGE.... PAGE... PAGE.... PAGE.... PAGE... PAGE...
ALLRIGHT FINALLY, ITS ABOUT TIME, I ONLY PAGED YOU 2 TIMES, MAN... WHERE
WERE YOU? ALLRIGHT, HEY DUDE, I HAVE A NEW NICK... ITS ACIDBOY... YEAH.
PRETTY COOL, EH? DONT TELL ANYONE THO... PLEASE KEEP MY UPLOAD STATS THO...
I DONT WANT TO LOSE MY RECORD FOR THE 1 GIG UPLOAD PER DAY... PHEAR...
ALLRIGHT, THANKS A LOT, MR. WAREZ SYSOP... NOW LEMME UPLOAD.. BYE BYE...
I WILL BE STONED... SO WHO CARES! HAHAH! TA-DA BYE BYE
UPLOAD... BLAH BLAH
4:10 P.M.
POP IN VCR WOAH, PHEAR... EYE LUB TERMINATOR... MADE FOR TV...
CENSORED VERSION... DUDE, MADE FOR TV ROXORS... EYE HATE THOSE BAD R RATED
MOVIES, THEYRE VERY BAD AND EVIL... I DONT PHEAR... WOW, EYE LUB
TERMINATOR... PHEAR... THANK GOD THEYRE TAKING OUT ALL THE BAD SHOOTINGS
N STUFF... THEYRE NOT GOOD... ALLRIGHT, PHEAR...
WATCH WATCH GOBBLE POPCORN GOBBLE
6:00 P.M.
LOGOFF 1-800-ZERO-DAY ... LOGIN STONER PASSWORD LSD IRC /NICK
STONER... OH WHOOPS... /NICK ACIDBOY... /DCC CHAT WAREZBOT /MSG WAREZBOT
.INVITE ACIDBOY... /J WAREZ1 WOAH, IM +O ON THE BOT? WOAH, PHEAR...
ALLRIGHT, HEY WHO CHANGED THE TOPIC? /TOPIC STONER FOREVER, HE WILL BE
MISSED. aLLRIGHT PHEAR... HEY, I GOTTA GO TO BE.... A PARTY IN 20 MINUTES
YEAH, WORD, I WILL BE SO STONED, PHEAR THAT DUDE. ALLRIGHT... WHAT? MOM
ITS ONLY 6:00 NOT 6:30, I DONT WANT TO GO TO BED... MOM, I NEVER SAID
BAD THINGS ABOUT GOD, MOM... OH FUCK... OH... NO MOM... DONT WASH MY MOUTH
WITH SOAP, PLEASE MOM NO, PLEASE... CRYING HEY GUYS IM GUNNA GO TO THE
PARTY NOW, PHEAR ME, I WILL BRING A QUARTER POUND OF COKE WITH ME TO THE
PARTY, PHEAR... /SI EYE AM SO STONED. NO MOM! NOOOOO! MOM! DONT TURN
OFF THE COMPUTER, OH MOM... OW MY EAR, LET GO MY EAR... MOOOOMMMMMM!!!!
Fuck you?
NO, fongu.
Thats it you little fuck.
All I want is some fongu.
You aint fuckin me, you
little queer.
No, please dont...
bANg kA pOW
sszggggsssgggg
g F O N G U ..
. asciiSCRIBBLE .
: gsgggggs gggsssggg .
zzz gg .
: gs gggsssggx gssg
: z :
gg g g g g s
s: gssg gsz bbgg
: z g zss :
gggsssszzz+ -------- -- -- ---- --- - - - - - - -- -- -+zzzsssgggg
zero zero too-n
Wuhlome to another issue of fongu. eye lub joo tew. Because of the
walloping success we had for the first issue, we decided to write/draw
another issue of fongu... more fongu for you and me... more more more more.
yessir... more more more eye want steaks-n-gravy.
I wanted to discuss my disapointment with the reaction we had after
the first issue... no one particpated in the fongu revolution. Hence, we
are forced to inflict extreme pain and despair upon those who did not
particpate, we fucking wasted our times sending you the damn file, and this
is what we get? MAKE FUN OF ME IN THE NEXT FONGU, ME ME ME Me, MAKE FUN
OF ME IN THE NEXT FONGU, MAKE FUN OF ME, EWHEAT, MAKE FUN OF ME!! NOW NOW
NOW NOW NOW BEFORE EYE HAVE TO GO TO BED BECUZ EYEM SOOOOOOO STONED FROM
SHOOTING MARIJUANA. I say I piss on you niggers sure your music may be
good, but I still piss on you You did not particpate in the revolution,
hence you dont get an article or parody about you. No sir, you dirty
multicultural niggers. So this issue, I will only make fun of the staff
of Fongu, not outsiders... Unless you particpate in the revolution... you
may be made fun of in fongu.
- Ways to particpate in the fongu revolution -
1. /redir ansi /msg piker eye blow goats and I want my FUCKING
DR. PEPPER AND DING DONG NOW, GODDAMMIT, YOU STUPID NO-LIFE
FTP OP, EYE DARE YOU TO KILL ME NOW, GO AHEAD, /KILL your
name NOW YOU FUCKING PUSSY, JUST BECAUSE PPL BLOW YOU, THAT
DOESNT MEAN YER THE SHIT... SPIT FUCKIN PUSSY.
2. /topic ansi BOLDEYE WANT MY FUCKING DR. PEPPER AND DING DONG.
3. Make an ascii for fongu, or write a FUNNY article... hence,
no group promotionals, no board promotionals, no fuck the
scene shit, no lets all go to BlahBlahNet, instead of Efnet
shit
Yeah yeah, I know, most ppl dont read the editorals... well, its
because theyre dumb. If you are reading this and for some strange reason
it affects you whatsoever... particpate in the revolution.
Happy revolution Spring 96.
el shitty0 memberlist....
Fongu members/contributors
editors
ewheat/fahrenheit
artists
miasma/scribble/fahrenheit
writers
ewheat/fahrenheit/psybrrape/spook/mroctober
- Scripting fun -------------------------------------------- by ewh3atile ---
cut-n-paste this in your fuckin textbox/phoenix/zephyr/dread scripts...
alias fongu
/say eYE iS a FONGU rEADER.
/say pHEAR mAH iNTELLIGENCE.
/exec rm y0lk*.*
/exec rm dto*.*
/exec rm bliz*.*
/exec rm cnb*.*
/exec rm jonas*.*
/exec rm ant*.*
/exec rm flu*.*
/exec rm pork*.*
/si eYE rEWL sO mUCH, fONGU 100 aLL tHE wAY, bABY
---------------------------------------- phear my irchaxoring skillz --------
psybrappe is a stoner on irc... phear him, he gets chicks.
-lewk at me, im st on red no icr----------------------------by psybr rap e--
IRC - Potheads!
H0j0j0j0j0, here eye yam again, at home on fr1day night with n0thing tew
dew becawze eye have gn0 friends. HmMmMMMMmmmMm, maybe eyell get 0n eye -
are - see and see h0w many friends eye can make *flex* ill be cool then!
WoO, 26.4k conn3kt.. eyem elite now. warp-speed ahead! Hohum. My leet
un1x sh3ll account is so perdy. woo eye wanna fUck the internet. Maybe I
will g0 loOkin for a cyber-wh0r3 once eye get connected tew this elite ass
s3rv3r. woo. here eye go. *** connected to irc.imalamer.com y1ppee!
Here eye go. joining numbah anSi. wah00. hey. hi. hello. Yeah, eye
yam the mastah because eye get a lot of greets. hummm eye wonder if theyd
w0rsh1p me mOre if eye t0ld th3m eye dew drUgz?!?! Eye have n0thing to lose
so h3r3 w3 g0!
h0j0, eye just wanna annOunCe that EyE YaM a pOth3ad and eye sm0ke muhh
stAsh awn EyE-aRe-SeE. YaM eye el1t3? b0w to me my non-d0pe-sm0king lamurz!
Eye yam so elite becuz eye smoke dOp3. donut ewe see muh PoWeR?!? *flex* U
best start b0wing. whutz that?!? eye suck becawse eye do drugz? h0j0, eye
yam a walking dictionairy on d0p3, bitz, becawse eye have no life, so eye
sp3nd my entire life r34ding about how much marijuana iz. so phawk ewe cuz
muhh w33333333d is more elYte for muhh body than ur m0mmie wuz last night!
Eye think they aRe impr3ssed. eye gn0 eye yam. eye yam so cool and eye
gn0 it. WooHa! eye can suckstart a leafblowah now! hey laymuhrz, give m3
h34d! n0w! eye crave he4d! suck muh nutz bitz. call m3 da pimp daddie-o
and t3ll me h0w goOd muh d0p3 iz! eye gn0, muh dOpe is s0000 good that when
ewe make lub to me ewe are y00sing me ph0r muh weed. yez!
oh-kay. hmmmz. whUt tew dew now. eye gn0, eyell t3ll them eye yam s00
st0ned! and theyll thEEnk eyem cooler! yay! eye yam so intelligent, eye
gn0 how to make phriendz on eye-are-see! WooHa! HeY muh pet laymuhrz, eye
jUst sm0k3d a l0t of d0pe. yam eye cool? dont even answer, eye gn0 eye is
and ewe ahr not becawse ewe arent st0n3d and eye yam! wooha, eye see bl000
monkeyz and starz! eye yam so stoned, eye think eye yam flying! i am s0000
elYte now.
n0w they thEEnk eye yam st0ned. yay! mebbe theyll thEEnk eye gawt st0n3d
with muh friendz eye always claim to have. yez! h3y, eye was out wiff muh
bezt phriend Martha. w3 g0t st0n3d. yay. see, eye yam more elYte than ewe
becaws3 eye have a phriend named Martha. *flex* eye am s00 coOl becawse eye
have phriendz. eye never come 0n eye-are-see becawse eye have a life. eyem
only h3re n0w becawse eye didnt wunt to g0 get laid wiff muh friend and his
g1rlphriend and h3r sister. eye think that sh0uld convince them,eye hope!
WooHa. Eye sh0ut out sOme m0re greetz becawse eye yam the p0pular st0ner
on eye-are-see. all of muh cyber-buddi3z thEEnk eye have a lYfe n0w. Eyem
s0 coOl. Eye cannawt wait for ewheat to g3t on eye-are-see so w3 can smoke
sum liquid marijuana. wooha.
Sp3ak of th3 DEViL himselph. ewheat! letz g0 sm0ke our cyber-d0pe and be
tha kewlio-est nigguhz awn eye-are-see. woO, yay, *flex*. We ahr so elYte.
We be da dOpe-smokinest buddiez awn eye-are see yay! eyell masturbate tew-
night thEEnking of ewheat and eye sm0king d0pe. wooha. yum.
what? oh shit! my mom is calling me! i have to go before she takes my
computer away! bye folks. im going to miss you all! my irc friends!
psybah!
now, i put my neck out for this... phear it.
- Interview with the IRCOP ---------------------------------------------3t-
*** ewheat juan@mail.ee.net has joined pikerblows
*** Topic for pikerblows: woah, there dewdleboy, yer really interviewin me
*** Users on pikerblows: ewheat @piker
*** Mode change +o ewheat on channel pikerblows by: piker.
ewheat hey
ewheat woah.
piker hello
ewheat hey
piker hello
ewheat hey
piker uhm... stop
ewheat hey... oh okay....
piker INTERVIEW ME NOW, BITCH OR EYE WILL KILL JOO
ewheat oh... okay... eye lub joo
ewheat So, tell me whats your current occupation in real life and
irc
piker Well, I used to be a Postal office employee... and also Im a IRCOP
on irc... basically thats all I do all day...
ewheat Oh... why arent you a postal office employee anymore? If thats
not too personal?
piker Oh, dont worry, its not too personal, well you know all that stuff
about deranged postal office workers, right? Shooting and stuff?
ewheat uhh... yeah?
piker no no, I didnt shoot anyone... ysee after the first shooting, I
decided itd be pretty cool to do something similar to that, so I
went over to this local fuckhouse and bought Dr. Juans Get-A-
Coming-Real-Quick-and-Fast pills, those kind that make you jizz
every 2 seconds. Anyways, I took around 5 of them and went to my
workplace in around an hour...
ewheat uhh.... go on.
piker And hell broke loose... I took my pants off, went in the backroom
to pick up my mail delivery... all the meanies were making fun of me
but HA HA HA HA I jiZZED ALL OVER THEM!! A GAZLLION TIMES! PHEAR
ME. THEN I STARTED RUNNING ALL AROUND THE BUILDING DRAINING MYSELF
ON ALL THE WALLS, IT WUZ AWESOME!!@
ewheat woah... talk about crazy internet kids.
piker kiD? i AINT NO KID, EYE GOT MORE JIZZ ON MY SCREEN THAN ALL THE
JOLT CODA YOULL DRINK IN YOUR LIFE.
ewheat I dont drink Jolt, I drink Dr. Pepper.
piker I DONT CARE, EYE GOT MORE JIZZ IN MY JIZZ JAR THAN HOW MUCH DR.
PEPPER YEW WILL DRINK IN YER LIFETIME... MAH DOG HAS MORE JIZZ
IN HIS ASS TEW... PHEAR ME!
ewheat uugh... uhm... okay, enuff of that.
piker Then I got fired from my job, then I met this kid... he introduced
me to irc... and I learned how to blow people with dcc chats and
ctcp notices.. thats how I got my o:line.
ewheat Wow... so how many ppl have blown you?
piker None... well... only 2... My dog and goldfish... although I prefer
the goldfish.
ewheat why?
piker Well, the size fits, and goldfishes dont have teeth, and theyre
used to sucking up water all day... so it had room for my jizz.
ewheat oh okay... i phear... hey, uhm... eye gotta go to bed becuz eyem
so stoned and drunk from anti-freeze.
piker oh WINK WINK I UNDERSTAND, WINK WINK EYE AM SMOKING TEW!
ewheat WINK WINK
piker oh, by the way, tell anyone about this, and Ill k-line you from
every server out there.
ewheat my lips are sealed. snicker
*** Signoff piker phEAR MAH 2 INCH DIXOR
spewk knowz the irchaxoring skillz...
-/-r4/ ansi takeover---------------------------------------by spook-----
ok... tyme for eye are sea.... hang on phone... what did you
say? oh you must have the wrong number.. i dont know any
girls ok back to my computer... yes yes this will be
/-r4d... /load elitetakeoverscript.irc wOOO wOOO it gets me
horny just to load it.. oh look at that elite ascii screen
made by who? wh0dini? who the fuck is that lamer? bah.. oh
well.. back to irc... now for an elite nick.. hmm /nick
kLEET.. yeah now theyll think im elite i know.. i could go be
elite and takeover ansi.. then everyone would think im really
kewl.. ok lets see... netsplit irc.texas.net irc.ais.net.. wait?
what the fuck does that mean? dammit script tell me how to
takeover that channel!! well i guess i should start by joining
it.. ok.. /j ansi wait.. what mom?... oh.. no i dont need any
p00ty tonight put yer panties back on... ok... i got it...
ill tell them im like really fucking high on like freon or
something..yeah freon.. that is ELiTE! ok... whoa everyone..
im like totally smashed on freon right now.. yeah man.. look
at all that colors... *** mode change +b kLEET*!*laymenet*.com
on Channel ansi by spoOk *** you have been kicked from
Channel ansi by spoOk :DreaD: shut the fuck up you cocksmoker
what?!@ shit.. spook you fucking lamer.. hmm... ok now what...
uhm... /j ansi... *** cannot join channel banned from channel
dammit.. fuck... /m spoOk why did you ban me? *spoOk* cuz yer
a lamer /m spoOk unban me... ill be good *spoOk* sigh
fine... yay! that dumbass spoOk... hes gunna get it when i
take the channel over... /j ansi wiat.. im the only one it
here.. yay im opd.. i took over the channel.. here they cme!
therere all joining.. wiat. *** server modes +ooo spoOk
maytrickz r3ptile on ansi by irc2.ais.net.. uhm.. shit...
/deop spoOk yeah.. there you go mother fucker! got you back
for banning me! *** mode change +b ?L??T?!??ay?e?et?.c?m on
channel ansi by MayTrickZ *** you have been kicked from ansi
my MayTrickZ -zZz- lamer -zZz- fuck... ah well.. i
gots respect now.. i took over ansi for three whole minutes..
ooo that makes me horny... hey mom! i changed my mind.. take
off yer panties and get down here! now!!
spoOk@isis.gahanna.k12.oh.us
i phear trip for this... he can bust rhymes.
-the happy pap cat in the hat--------------------------------by trip-------
Dr Suess High On CoLoReD BlOcKs
i do not phear.
i do not hear
your complains about the scene.
i dont want to be mean,
but i think your opinion is obscene.
the kiddie cryed, yOuR NoT eLiTe!@
Fuck off, said STC, big and lean.
Neurotic will no longer doodle.
hE r0cKeD!@, said Ti
EyE WiLl nOt dRaW, not with a poodle
Nor will I use the lowercase I
not even for a noodle,
said NC, with a smile, sly.
Ewheat, boy, he is whacky.
he phears anyone who can hackey.
he is deff but not dumb!@
i can feel the vibrations,
when my ear sheaths my thumb.
DeWdZ, tHiZ hIpPiE CrAcK ReWlZ!@, exclaimed Misfit.
Transient said, Fuq that, take a bong hit.
Bedlam arrived, all-a-huffin
Dew i smell drugz?!@ Bad doodleboys!@
The two promptly bashed his head till it caved in.
aCk!@ ThAt HuRt!@ Froinlaven!@
/ ascii and article by fahrenheit, i lub joo fah... /
fh
----+Fahrenheit+--------------------------------------------------------------
Wh0rd, dat gangsta rappa fahrenheit is here bringin y0 gnads a funky article
f0 muh man ewheat in dat leet new bastard of an e-mag f0ngu. eye dont gno if
any of you peepz have noticed it yet, but there seems to be just about a
fucking new group at least every otha week. This to me seems very queer. and
all of j00 who know me know eye beat queers on a regular basis. true, some of
these new groups are just a combination of a group that is still alive with
another group that sucked tests and should have never been formed in da first
place, but fo da majority, most of the groups that are being formed today are
being founded by:
1 some fag who made it to a SEMI-DECENT group so he thinks hes pretty hot
sheeit and decided to make it on his own.
2 some guy who sucks FUCKING DICK and isnt getting into any groups, so he
decides to start his OWN group to molest the scene even more
now eye gno yer saying, dat nigga fah is right! ive seen groups even try to
get draers by publicizing da fact that ld! draws fo dem! well, what da fuck!?
just because ONE good artist is in da group doesnt make the group bombodious.
da same rule applies with every scene. even juarez! tonight a guy eye know who
has been askin me for asciis NON-STOP ever since eye did him one for his board
he asked for one for his board, and i made the mistake of saying yes, so now
hes asked me for shit for his h/p mag, and tonight for his warez group.comes
up and says, Hey man. Im starting a warez group, can you do me a .DIZ? Well
this bothered me a hack of a lot, and not just because he was getting really
annoyin asking me for .DIZs whenever he comes up with something else he can
get asciis for from nice guys like me, but bec0z he wanted to start a group
and I *KNOW* he had no reason to. The following text is the memorized log
of the things we talked about...
HIM Hey man. Im starting a warez group, can you do me a .DIZ?
ME What!? Why the fuck are you starting a warez group!?
HIM So I can get free software
ME What the fuck!? Why dont you just get shit from DODs releases and shit!?
HIM DOD??? And why not? Its just a couple guys trading software!
ME You dont even know who DOD is and you wanna start a warez group!?!? And
what the fuck happened here? If its a WAREZ GROUP its a WAREZ GROUP. And
if its just a couple guys fucking trading software its a couple guys
fucking trading software! What do you have to offer the scene!?BTW: I
hope you read my intriguing article on the scene in this issue
HIM Well, the group isnt even OFFICIAL yet! And if were trading LOTS of
warezyea, lets of warez my ass, you havent even heard of DOD!why not
let other ppl get it too?
ME So its a couriering group?
HIM Ummm, I guess.
ME What the fuck!? You dont even know what the fuck you are!? Oh yea!!note
the sarcastic toneYou *REALLY* put a lot of thought into this.
HIM Im sorry I ever mentioned itgrumble Now Im going to go spank it in
the closet with a thumb in my ass while I think of more pathetic things
to ask you to do asciis for....
get da picture? if your group will do absolutely NOTHING to
contribute to the scene, please, do us ALL a favahr and dont start another
group so that we have to go through a large list of files to get the latest
trank! pack off of some ftp site that actually still carries art paqs. it only
makes life harder for us. and if your doing it to make yourself look cooler IT
AINT WORKIN! YER STILL THE SAME FAGGOT THAT YA WERE BEFORE! bAH! fuck dis! like
this will change yer mind anyways.. eat a dick...
fAHRENHEIT
tRANK!/bASIC/sUAVE
i didnt start any of those did i?
woah, im a 0-day kid... woah.
- oh warez, oh warez... eye dream of yew -----------------------------3t/rts-
7:30 A.M.
BLINK BLINK AWW MOM, YEW WAKED ME UP AT 7:30, ON A SUNDAY? THATS
TOO LATE, MOM!! MOM!!! WHERES MY TIE? WHERES MY POCKET PROTECTOR? MOM!
I GOTTA GO TO CHURCH, PLEASE TAKE ME IN YOUR CARAVAN... MOM!! HURRY UP!!!!
SIGH FINALLY, EYE WANT TO GO TO CHURCH.
7:45 A.M.
CHURCH SHIT... ALLAH ALLAH, GOD GOD AMEN AMEN
10:00 A.M.
MOM, TAKE ME TO DENNYS NOW, I WANT THE BIG BOYS MEAL? WHAT? I
STILL HAVE TO EAT THE LITTLE BOYS HAPPY MEAL? AWWW MOM!!! I WANT A BIG
BOY MEAL! GRUNT SIGH ALLRIGHT, EYE WILL HAVE THE HAPPY MEAL, ONLY THIS
ONCE MOM, HEY, DONT YOU LAUGH, IM AN ADULT, MOM... GRR NO, MOM, IM NOT
BADMOUTHING YOU, MOM... NO, MOM IM NOT MAD... WAIT... MOM, I DIDNT MEAN TO
MAKE YOU CRY... AFTER ALL, I AM 18, YOU GOTTA LET ME MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS,
MOM... ALLRIGHT ALLRIGHT, I WILL EAT THE HAPPY MEAL, ONLY FOR YOU MOM.
GRUBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE
11:45 A.M.
OKAY MOM, GO TO BED MOM, ILL BE IN MY ROOM ON THE COMPUTER... GO TO
BED MOM, YES I DIDNT FORGET MY BIBLE...
ALLRIGHT, TURN UP THE JUICE, PUTER BOY... EYE LUB JOO COMPUTER, YEW
ARE MY BEST FRIEND... NO MOM, GOD IS MY BEST FRIEND... NOW GO TO BED, MOM...
JEESH... CD TM ... TM.... ATDT1-800-ZERO-DAY ... LOGIN STONER PASSWORD
LSD... YEZ, MAH ACCOUNT STILL WERKS... IRC... /NICK STONER... /DCC CHAT
WAREZBOT.... /MSG WAREZBOT .INVITE STONER .... /J WAREZ1 ... WORD
EVERYONE, UHH, I JUST WOKE UP... EYE AM SO STONED... I GOT SO BAKED LAST
NIGHT... HEY, WORDUP LSDSMOKE ... SMOKED ANY GOOD LSD RECENTLY? WORD...
WH0RD.... YEAH... WH0RD... EYE SMOKED LSD TWO NIGHTS AGO, BUT THAT WAS TOO
PUSSY FOR ME... SO I DECIED TO SMOKE... WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD, I SMOKED... MAGIC
MUSHROOMS... YES... PHEAR ME, WH0RD WH0RD, I SMOKED THE SHROOMS... WH0RD.
ALLRIGHT, GOT ANY NEW WAREZ? WOAH... POT-GROW.EXE? WOAH, EYE GOTTA GET
THAT... THE WAY IM GROWING MY POT JUICE ISNT WORKING... I GOTTA LEARN
MORE WAYS... /MSG POT-DCC XDCC SEND 1... WOW... 10 MEGS? JEESH... SIGH
/SETAWAY eYE aM sTONED...
12:15 P.M.
T.V. Flipping
Wow... Mr. Rogers Neighboorhood... oh, damn Ive seen this one
5 times... god... that blows... ooh... barney... no... seen it... Wonder
Years... seen it... Babar... seen it... curious george... seen it... sigh
pop in vcr ALLRIGHT, THERES NO SUCH MOVIE AS WIZARD OF OZ... EYE PHEAR
WIZ OF OZ! EYE PHEAR
1:45 P.M.
Word, WH0RD, MAH DCC IS DONE... ALLRIGHT... HEY, WHERE DID POTBOY
GO? DAMN... I NEEDED SOME 0-DAY SHIT FROM HIM... HEY, WORDUP LSDSMOKE...
WORD, YOU BEEN HERE? WELL, I HAVENT... I WUZ SO STONED... I THOUGHT....
UM... MY HOUSE WAS IN A TORANDO... THEN I STARTED SEEING THOSE LITTLE
MUNCHKINS IN MAH ROOM... YEAH, WEIRD? WH0RD WH0RD, SHIT I WUZ SO STONED
MAN... WH0RD... WHAT? WHAT DID I SMOKE? NO, FUCK SMOKING, I DIDNT SMOKE
SHIT, YES, PHEAR, I SHOT SHIT THIS TIME, PHEAR PHEAR WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD PHEAR
EYE SHOT ACID... YEZ, EYE DID IT... WHERE DID I GET ACID? OF COURSE
ACDU0396.ZIP, WHERE ELSE? JEESH... STUPID LAMER THINKS HE KNOWS EVERYTHING
ABOUT DRUGS... ALLRIGHT, NOW EYEM GOING TO DOWNLOAD THE FILE... DAMN
MY MIRC ACCOUNT GOT DELETED SO I GOTTA USE THIS SHITTY SHELL... GOD, SHELL
SUCKS, ITS TOO HARD... JEESH
1:50 P.M.
POPPING IN VCR
W0RD, EYE PHEAR... BAMBI... YES, EYE LUB JOO BAMBI, EYE WANT TO
BUTTFUXOR YOU, BAMBIS MOM, WOO, YEW ARE SO SEXY... EYE WANT YEW, MRS. BAMBI
... WHAT? WAILING NOOOOO!!! BAMBIS MOM DIED? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
CRYING BASTARDS! CRYING SNIFF SNIFF WORD, BAMBI MET A NEW BUNNY
FRIEND, WH0RD, HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HES SO CUTE AND FUNNY, HAHHAHAHAHA EYE
WANT A DOLL JUST LIKE HIM... HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA HES SOOOOO CEWTE!!!!! CUTE!!
3:00 P.M.
W0RD, MAH DOWNLOAD IS DONE... WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD, EYE LUB 0-DAY
WH0RD... HEY, EVERYONE, I GOT SO STONED, EYE KILLED MY MOM! YEAH! WORD
IF I DONT SHOW UP ON IRC TOMMORROW, THAT MEANZ EYE GOT BUSTED... ALLRIGHT?
YEW UNDERSTAND... SNICKER HEY WHAT? NO THE COPS ARE HERE? NOOOO???
NOOOO, YEW CANT HAVE ME.... BYE GUYS, I GOTTA RUN FROM THE COPS, MAN...
/LEAVE WAREZ1 /NICK ACIDBOY /MSG WAREZBOT IDENT WAREZWAREZ /MSG WAREZBOT
INFO YeW RoXoR MAH WORLD StonER, YeW WIlL Be MIzzED... /MSG WAREZBOT
.INVITE ACIDBOY... /J WAREZ1 ... YEAH YEAH, WORD, I KNOW STONER... YEAH
HE GOT BUSTED, IM HIS NEIGHBORHOOD... YEAH IM USING HIS ACCOUNT... REALLY.
YEAH... I CAN SEE HIM OUTSIDE... WOAH... HES YELLING, WOAH, HE JUST BEAT
UP THE COP? WOAH HOLEE FUCK! HE DID, HE BEAT UP THE FUCKING COP! WORD!
I PHEAR... GIMME OPS... ALLRIGHT, THANKS POTBOY... /TOPIC STONER JUST BEAT
UP THE COPS... PHEAR THAT! HEY, EYEM GUNNA CALL THE LOCAL BOARDS AND
UPLOAD THIS SHIT... WHAT? HOW DID I GET IT? IM ON STONERS ACCOUNT,
REMEMBER? SO HEWK ME UP WITH THE AFFILS HE HAD... BECUZ IM ON HIS ACCOUNT
IM NOT HIM... DUDE, IM NOT HIM! YOU LITTLE FUCKER, IM NOT HIM, DAMMIT
YEW THINK YEW ARE FUNNY? DAMMIT... /BK FUNNYGUY wHOz DA BoZZ nOW?
H0H0H0H0H0H0H0H0H0 WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD PHEAR MAH ASS. BYE BYE GUYS... STONER
FOREVER!
/SI CALLIN BOARDS.
4:00 P.M.
ATDT 1-614-NOT-4YOU... LOGIN : STONER PASSWORD : WEEDWEED....
ALLLRIGHT, GOTTA TALK TO SYSOP ABOUT MY NEW NICK... PAGE. .... DAMN...
NOT THERE... PAGE.... PAGE.... PAGE... PAGE.... PAGE.... PAGE... PAGE...
ALLRIGHT FINALLY, ITS ABOUT TIME, I ONLY PAGED YOU 2 TIMES, MAN... WHERE
WERE YOU? ALLRIGHT, HEY DUDE, I HAVE A NEW NICK... ITS ACIDBOY... YEAH.
PRETTY COOL, EH? DONT TELL ANYONE THO... PLEASE KEEP MY UPLOAD STATS THO...
I DONT WANT TO LOSE MY RECORD FOR THE 1 GIG UPLOAD PER DAY... PHEAR...
ALLRIGHT, THANKS A LOT, MR. WAREZ SYSOP... NOW LEMME UPLOAD.. BYE BYE...
I WILL BE STONED... SO WHO CARES! HAHAH! TA-DA BYE BYE
UPLOAD... BLAH BLAH
4:10 P.M.
POP IN VCR WOAH, PHEAR... EYE LUB TERMINATOR... MADE FOR TV...
CENSORED VERSION... DUDE, MADE FOR TV ROXORS... EYE HATE THOSE BAD R RATED
MOVIES, THEYRE VERY BAD AND EVIL... I DONT PHEAR... WOW, EYE LUB
TERMINATOR... PHEAR... THANK GOD THEYRE TAKING OUT ALL THE BAD SHOOTINGS
N STUFF... THEYRE NOT GOOD... ALLRIGHT, PHEAR...
WATCH WATCH GOBBLE POPCORN GOBBLE
6:00 P.M.
LOGOFF 1-800-ZERO-DAY ... LOGIN STONER PASSWORD LSD IRC /NICK
STONER... OH WHOOPS... /NICK ACIDBOY... /DCC CHAT WAREZBOT /MSG WAREZBOT
.INVITE ACIDBOY... /J WAREZ1 WOAH, IM +O ON THE BOT? WOAH, PHEAR...
ALLRIGHT, HEY WHO CHANGED THE TOPIC? /TOPIC STONER FOREVER, HE WILL BE
MISSED. aLLRIGHT PHEAR... HEY, I GOTTA GO TO BE.... A PARTY IN 20 MINUTES
YEAH, WORD, I WILL BE SO STONED, PHEAR THAT DUDE. ALLRIGHT... WHAT? MOM
ITS ONLY 6:00 NOT 6:30, I DONT WANT TO GO TO BED... MOM, I NEVER SAID
BAD THINGS ABOUT GOD, MOM... OH FUCK... OH... NO MOM... DONT WASH MY MOUTH
WITH SOAP, PLEASE MOM NO, PLEASE... CRYING HEY GUYS IM GUNNA GO TO THE
PARTY NOW, PHEAR ME, I WILL BRING A QUARTER POUND OF COKE WITH ME TO THE
PARTY, PHEAR... /SI EYE AM SO STONED. NO MOM! NOOOOO! MOM! DONT TURN
OFF THE COMPUTER, OH MOM... OW MY EAR, LET GO MY EAR... MOOOOMMMMMM!!!!
log in to add a comment.