---moo-----------------------------------------------------------------------
y0lk 36: the little cultist that couldnt
---cow-----------------------------------------------------------------------
well, y0lk is at a standstill. i dont feel like writing, but y0lk
hasnt released in quite a while, so i suppose i should put one out just so
everybody knows we still exist. why? i dont know, and i dont care. i
just have to release this.
---sob-----------------------------------------------------------------------
so what do you write when you dont feel like writing? MINDLESS
GARBAGE! yep. thats what y0lks are made of. but im always the one to spit
in the face of reality, so this issue, NO GARBAGE. yeah, im deciding this
right now. intense, quality writing. yee-haw.
---oh boy--------------------------------------------------------------------
i just read jonas 14, it was pretty good. i suggest that if you
havent already, you pick it up and read it. but one thing that struck me
was how edicius responded to youth bad-asses. at one point, he just ran off
a traditional bashing of cigarettes and drugs:
I know not to do drugs or smoke, because thats just paying to kill
yourself.
theres nothing wrong with this quote, let me make that clear. what
struck me was how i related it to myself. i thought- why dont i use drugs
or smoke? and what i answered was a little disturbing. i used to smoke a
lot, like... constantly. and the reason i quit was because i knew people
WANTED me to smoke. they see me, a kid who gets bad grades at school, doesnt
talk much, etc... and they want to label me as a certain type of person--
and smoking is something they expect- and want me to do.
so i quit. it sounds ridiculous, but who knows. i feel like more of
a bad-ass by not smoking. spitting in the face of reality.
---yeah----------------------------------------------------------------------
hmm. i think ill write a story or something.
---yay-----------------------------------------------------------------------
it was a normal day in apartment 113, home of the devil dogs, a
satanic cult run by students of saint louis university. the boys had just
finished their daily ritual, and were lounging around the apartment. the
corpse of a recently-sacrificed goat lay on the floor under johnnys feet, as
he was reclining in his easy chair, finishing off a cigarette.
hey, you think satan listens to these guys? johnny said to his
friends across the room. the new smashing pumpkins video was playing on MTV.
the cultists replied with a round of laughs. no, im serious, dont you ever
wonder what music satan listens to?
dont be ridiculous, said rick, satan listens to alice cooper.
oh, yeah, thats right. hehe. johnny faked a laugh. but really,
does satan like music? and what kind? i mean, worshipping him is great and
all, but i wish i could know what kind of guy sata--
SHUT UP and listen to the damn song! i want to hear this. the room
was silent for about an hour, when suddenly, an amazing thing happened.
in a puff of smoke, satan appeared. he was everything rick and johnny
had imagined him to be. seven feet high, red-skinned, and angry. johnny woke
up at the sound of his arrival, but rick remained asleep on the couch. johnny
scrambled away from the devil and tried to wake rick.
RICK! RICK! wake up! satan is here to talk to us!
shut the fuck up, john. im sleeping.
satan sighed loudly and boomed, let him sleep, johnny. im here to
talk to you, and you alone. i see youve been worshipping me for quite a
while, and i want you to join my legion and become a true servant of the
devil. there will first be a test. if you pass, you will become a general
in the army of hell.
whoa, cool. so whats the test? do i have to beat you at something?
i bet i could kick your ass at sega!
no, johnny. you have to kill for me.
john was amazed. WHAT?! i cant kill someone! i could go to hell
for that!
uhh... thats the point, johnny. if you kill someone for me, you can
go to hell and be a general.
uhm, im not sure about this. i think i kinda want to go to heaven.
what are you talking about? why would you worship me if you wanted to
go to heaven? are you out of your mind?
well, no... its just that... well, youre so damn cool, satan! i
mean, god is just a big fat dude with a long white beard! why the hell would
i worship a dork like him?
satan became annoyed and johns stupidity. because you want to go to
heaven. listen, if youre not going to kill for me, then i gotta go. theres
a pumpkins concert in chicago tonight.
fine! i dont want you in my apartment anyway, you asshole!
satan growled, and stormed out of the apartment. as he left, he
screamed, a curse on the both of you! your pathetic souls shall be eternally
damned!
johnny screamed back. yeah, right. get the fuck out of my home,
you big red asshole! johnny growled, and as he fell back asleep, he mumbled
to himself: what a moron. i cant believe he thought i worshipped him.
the rituals continued, every day at noon they sacrificed a goat and
danced around a small fire. johnny never thought of the incident again, and
continued to worship his almighty master, the devil.
---uhh-----------------------------------------------------------------------
yep, there ya go. no garbage, just poorly-written literature. well,
thats the end of the issue. bye. oh, and check out the new y0lk homepage,
http://nexxus.novasys.com/creed/y0lk.html ...seeya.
---index---------------------------------------------------------------------
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera. woog.
mindcrime is an official y0lk member.
y0lk 36: the little cultist that couldnt
---cow-----------------------------------------------------------------------
well, y0lk is at a standstill. i dont feel like writing, but y0lk
hasnt released in quite a while, so i suppose i should put one out just so
everybody knows we still exist. why? i dont know, and i dont care. i
just have to release this.
---sob-----------------------------------------------------------------------
so what do you write when you dont feel like writing? MINDLESS
GARBAGE! yep. thats what y0lks are made of. but im always the one to spit
in the face of reality, so this issue, NO GARBAGE. yeah, im deciding this
right now. intense, quality writing. yee-haw.
---oh boy--------------------------------------------------------------------
i just read jonas 14, it was pretty good. i suggest that if you
havent already, you pick it up and read it. but one thing that struck me
was how edicius responded to youth bad-asses. at one point, he just ran off
a traditional bashing of cigarettes and drugs:
I know not to do drugs or smoke, because thats just paying to kill
yourself.
theres nothing wrong with this quote, let me make that clear. what
struck me was how i related it to myself. i thought- why dont i use drugs
or smoke? and what i answered was a little disturbing. i used to smoke a
lot, like... constantly. and the reason i quit was because i knew people
WANTED me to smoke. they see me, a kid who gets bad grades at school, doesnt
talk much, etc... and they want to label me as a certain type of person--
and smoking is something they expect- and want me to do.
so i quit. it sounds ridiculous, but who knows. i feel like more of
a bad-ass by not smoking. spitting in the face of reality.
---yeah----------------------------------------------------------------------
hmm. i think ill write a story or something.
---yay-----------------------------------------------------------------------
it was a normal day in apartment 113, home of the devil dogs, a
satanic cult run by students of saint louis university. the boys had just
finished their daily ritual, and were lounging around the apartment. the
corpse of a recently-sacrificed goat lay on the floor under johnnys feet, as
he was reclining in his easy chair, finishing off a cigarette.
hey, you think satan listens to these guys? johnny said to his
friends across the room. the new smashing pumpkins video was playing on MTV.
the cultists replied with a round of laughs. no, im serious, dont you ever
wonder what music satan listens to?
dont be ridiculous, said rick, satan listens to alice cooper.
oh, yeah, thats right. hehe. johnny faked a laugh. but really,
does satan like music? and what kind? i mean, worshipping him is great and
all, but i wish i could know what kind of guy sata--
SHUT UP and listen to the damn song! i want to hear this. the room
was silent for about an hour, when suddenly, an amazing thing happened.
in a puff of smoke, satan appeared. he was everything rick and johnny
had imagined him to be. seven feet high, red-skinned, and angry. johnny woke
up at the sound of his arrival, but rick remained asleep on the couch. johnny
scrambled away from the devil and tried to wake rick.
RICK! RICK! wake up! satan is here to talk to us!
shut the fuck up, john. im sleeping.
satan sighed loudly and boomed, let him sleep, johnny. im here to
talk to you, and you alone. i see youve been worshipping me for quite a
while, and i want you to join my legion and become a true servant of the
devil. there will first be a test. if you pass, you will become a general
in the army of hell.
whoa, cool. so whats the test? do i have to beat you at something?
i bet i could kick your ass at sega!
no, johnny. you have to kill for me.
john was amazed. WHAT?! i cant kill someone! i could go to hell
for that!
uhh... thats the point, johnny. if you kill someone for me, you can
go to hell and be a general.
uhm, im not sure about this. i think i kinda want to go to heaven.
what are you talking about? why would you worship me if you wanted to
go to heaven? are you out of your mind?
well, no... its just that... well, youre so damn cool, satan! i
mean, god is just a big fat dude with a long white beard! why the hell would
i worship a dork like him?
satan became annoyed and johns stupidity. because you want to go to
heaven. listen, if youre not going to kill for me, then i gotta go. theres
a pumpkins concert in chicago tonight.
fine! i dont want you in my apartment anyway, you asshole!
satan growled, and stormed out of the apartment. as he left, he
screamed, a curse on the both of you! your pathetic souls shall be eternally
damned!
johnny screamed back. yeah, right. get the fuck out of my home,
you big red asshole! johnny growled, and as he fell back asleep, he mumbled
to himself: what a moron. i cant believe he thought i worshipped him.
the rituals continued, every day at noon they sacrificed a goat and
danced around a small fire. johnny never thought of the incident again, and
continued to worship his almighty master, the devil.
---uhh-----------------------------------------------------------------------
yep, there ya go. no garbage, just poorly-written literature. well,
thats the end of the issue. bye. oh, and check out the new y0lk homepage,
http://nexxus.novasys.com/creed/y0lk.html ...seeya.
---index---------------------------------------------------------------------
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera. woog.
mindcrime is an official y0lk member.
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