------Y0LK 61------------------------------------------------------------
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? by INSANE
Why did the chicken cross the road? This is one of
lifes great conundrums. Many theories arised from this
question. Theories composed by such great minds as Einstein,
Darwin, Hemmingway, Kippling, and Tony Danza, but none could
give the answer to this dilemma. Some said he/she did it to
get to the other side but I can disprove this hypothesis
because if the chicken wanted to get to the other side it
would just have to travel all the way across the world in a
perfect circle and when it came back to the town it started
its trek from, the chicken would find the road that he/she
wished to pass, but this time he/she would be on the other
side of the road and therefore there was never a need to
cross the road in the first place. You know, this essay
reminds me of the time I did in the KGB. I was an agent
for, what at that time was, the Soviet Union. I was to meet
a chicken vender in the southwest corner of Red Square where
at the time that we met he was to divulge information
regarding the assassination attempt on President Dwight
Einsehower. We were to meet at fourteen-hundred hours sharp
and in the KGB lateness was punishable by only one way,
being forced to listen to Robert Goulets Greatest Hits
Volume I-X while at the same time dipping your body in
chocolate fudge and then throwing you into the Russian
equivalent of Jenny Craig. My rendezvous was over thirty
minutes late and I feared the worst had happened to him. I
left the square and while walking back to the Kremlin saw
his dismembered body laying in the middle of the road and a
chicken walking across his almost unrecognizable body. It
turns out that the American war General, General Doulglas
McArthur, was in Russia because he heard about the
assassination plot and planned to foil it. He knew that the
two things Russians cant resist are vodka and Colonel
Sanders Chicken. Knowing this, McArthur planted a
microscopic bomb a piece of chicken and when my rendezvous
saw a chicken walking near him he decided since he had an
abundance of chicken, to use it and when he did, KABOOM!!!!
I felt so sorry for my friends untimely passing that I
dedicated my life to answering the age old question, why did
the chicken cross the road? Anyway, getting back to my
answer, I feel that people throughout history have asked the
wrong question. Instead of asking, why did the chicken
cross the road, people should have been asking, what made
the chicken want to cross the road? Could it have been
running away from something? I think not. It is my theory,
actually, not a theory, but a fact that the chicken crossed
the road because it was simply intoxicated. There have been
many documented cases of farmers replacing hard liquor for
the water so that the guy and girl chickens get drunk and,
viola, the farmer has more eggs than anyone else and can
retire at a young age because of your egg commodity. The
chicken was bashed and thats why he/she crossed the road.
insane
editors comment: uhm, that was weird. yeah. uhm. it was weird. -
chickens, chocolate, and the kgb. -creed
--index--------------------------------------------------------------------
--index n stuff-------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
TT
--infoez---------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
email creed@nexxus.novasys.com to contact me. yep.
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /pub/ftp/phorce/y0lk
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? by INSANE
Why did the chicken cross the road? This is one of
lifes great conundrums. Many theories arised from this
question. Theories composed by such great minds as Einstein,
Darwin, Hemmingway, Kippling, and Tony Danza, but none could
give the answer to this dilemma. Some said he/she did it to
get to the other side but I can disprove this hypothesis
because if the chicken wanted to get to the other side it
would just have to travel all the way across the world in a
perfect circle and when it came back to the town it started
its trek from, the chicken would find the road that he/she
wished to pass, but this time he/she would be on the other
side of the road and therefore there was never a need to
cross the road in the first place. You know, this essay
reminds me of the time I did in the KGB. I was an agent
for, what at that time was, the Soviet Union. I was to meet
a chicken vender in the southwest corner of Red Square where
at the time that we met he was to divulge information
regarding the assassination attempt on President Dwight
Einsehower. We were to meet at fourteen-hundred hours sharp
and in the KGB lateness was punishable by only one way,
being forced to listen to Robert Goulets Greatest Hits
Volume I-X while at the same time dipping your body in
chocolate fudge and then throwing you into the Russian
equivalent of Jenny Craig. My rendezvous was over thirty
minutes late and I feared the worst had happened to him. I
left the square and while walking back to the Kremlin saw
his dismembered body laying in the middle of the road and a
chicken walking across his almost unrecognizable body. It
turns out that the American war General, General Doulglas
McArthur, was in Russia because he heard about the
assassination plot and planned to foil it. He knew that the
two things Russians cant resist are vodka and Colonel
Sanders Chicken. Knowing this, McArthur planted a
microscopic bomb a piece of chicken and when my rendezvous
saw a chicken walking near him he decided since he had an
abundance of chicken, to use it and when he did, KABOOM!!!!
I felt so sorry for my friends untimely passing that I
dedicated my life to answering the age old question, why did
the chicken cross the road? Anyway, getting back to my
answer, I feel that people throughout history have asked the
wrong question. Instead of asking, why did the chicken
cross the road, people should have been asking, what made
the chicken want to cross the road? Could it have been
running away from something? I think not. It is my theory,
actually, not a theory, but a fact that the chicken crossed
the road because it was simply intoxicated. There have been
many documented cases of farmers replacing hard liquor for
the water so that the guy and girl chickens get drunk and,
viola, the farmer has more eggs than anyone else and can
retire at a young age because of your egg commodity. The
chicken was bashed and thats why he/she crossed the road.
insane
editors comment: uhm, that was weird. yeah. uhm. it was weird. -
chickens, chocolate, and the kgb. -creed
--index--------------------------------------------------------------------
--index n stuff-------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
TT
--infoez---------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
email creed@nexxus.novasys.com to contact me. yep.
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /pub/ftp/phorce/y0lk
log in to add a comment.