-- y0lk test pattern --
by mutter
ummm...this y0lk is gonna suck. So the kind people of y0lk might see how
much it sucks, decide to deny any knowledge of this issue, do
their best to erase it from any and all records and kill anyone that
knows of its existence ...but we know better, dont we? The truth cannot
be suppressed any longer! extraterrestrials are real and living in my
backyard. 1984 is now, mutha fucka.
y0lk thoughts -- a poem
y0lk, you are the first thing i want to see in the morning
and the last when i pass out at night
You are like a fresh, new comedian
whos bombing on stage
but not really since people are laughing
but they are laughing at you...not with you.
but any laughter is good laughter, right?
no?? umm...then who cares what they think...BASTARDS!@
THEY WILL ALL CRUMBLE BENEATH THE MIGHTY y0lk!@
THE WAR HAS BEGUN!
-- anonymous
okay, thats what those of us in AA call an icebreaker.
-------get on with the issue already----------------------------------------
I think those messages are supposed to indicate the voice of y0lk or
something. Maybe the voice of God...maybe one of my many schizophrenic
personalities. I have many personalities...but theyre all identical
so it gets kinda confusing.
-------PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!----------------------
w00...a wizard of oz reference. That movie was pretty cool. Its about
this chick that took too much nutmeg and started seeing wild shit. I
dunno...i really never got the wizard of oz. It musta been pretty cool
when it came out. Ya know, going to the movies and seeing color for the
first time. Of course some little fucker would probably get to you
before then and blow it for you.
...the best part is when she opens the door and its all in
COLOR@!
You fucker. You ruined the best part.
lifes like that.
------------you bore me like a mutha---------------------------------------
Who the fuck are you to judge me? Who the fuck ARE you? Shut the hell up
until you can tell me who you are, and how your messages keep appearing
on my screen.
------------------my name is jim, and its a secret--------------------------
uh huh.
Another cool thing about the wiz--
----i like long walks on the beach, holding hands under the sta-- ----------
okay, shut the fuck up, muthabitch.
---------------------tee hee------------------------------------------------
As I was saying...a cool thing about that movie is in one scene you are
supposedly able to see a munchkin hanging himself in the background! How
funny is that?! A fucking munchkin goes bouncing up and down on a rope
in the background. Oh, jeez. Dont believe me? Ive never seen it but
they tell me you are able to see him bounce down very blurry in the
background of somewhere around where the witch throws a fireball at the
scarecrow. gotta love those midgets.
----------thats like that dead kid in three men and a baby-----------------
Jim, dont even get me started. That was such a publicity stunt its not
even funny...
-----------------ya never know----------------------------------------------
yuppers. I love midgets. Especially when they are screaming and jumping
up and down. You hafta picture it...then youd see what i mean.
woo00oo. A lotta things I think are funny you hafta picture in your
mind.
----------- ya mean like a midget eating a cantaloupe?----------------------
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!@ You got the secret word for today:
Cantaloupe!!
woooooo0000000ooooooo0000000ooooo00000oooo!!
Anyone remember pee-wees playhouse? That show was fucked up...
--------connect the dots...La la la la!@------------------------------------
But, alas, pee-wee did something that kinda destroyed his career as
Saturday morns most annoying TV personality and, well, that was that.
Last I saw he was a vampire in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
---------- shudder -------------------------------------------------------
yea. lifes like that.
Oh well, jim, thanks for being here tonight.
------------- no prob ------------------------------------------------------
We didnt get to everything I wanted to but, hey, we covered a hell of a
lot like:
- y0lk thoughts
- the wizard of oz review for the mentally disturbed
- jim
- midgets
- pee-wee : the story of greatness
- the social-economic problems of Russia look carefully
- dead kids
- cantaloupes
We didnt have time for tonight:
- stupid pet tricks
- review of clerks
- women who want to be men who want to be women
- mutters guide to obscene hand gestures
Oh well...maybe next time.
NOW!! Print up 20 copies of this y0lk and distribute them to homeless
men in your community !!
--head-samurai-notes!------------------------------------------------------
*i* sure do love mutter. hes eleet. hes in p201. thank you,
mutter mutter@erebus.magsystems.com for that.
--edit0rz el8 k0mm3ntz------------------------------------------------------
wow, like, our member list has practically tripled since 50. new
guys this way and that. well. neato. if youre an avid y0lk fan like you
know you are, always feel free to get in touch with us. contacts are just
below the index thingie.
--index---------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
TT
--infoez---------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
creed is god. get used to it.
email creed@nexxus.novasys.com to contact me. yep.
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /pub/ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
by mutter
ummm...this y0lk is gonna suck. So the kind people of y0lk might see how
much it sucks, decide to deny any knowledge of this issue, do
their best to erase it from any and all records and kill anyone that
knows of its existence ...but we know better, dont we? The truth cannot
be suppressed any longer! extraterrestrials are real and living in my
backyard. 1984 is now, mutha fucka.
y0lk thoughts -- a poem
y0lk, you are the first thing i want to see in the morning
and the last when i pass out at night
You are like a fresh, new comedian
whos bombing on stage
but not really since people are laughing
but they are laughing at you...not with you.
but any laughter is good laughter, right?
no?? umm...then who cares what they think...BASTARDS!@
THEY WILL ALL CRUMBLE BENEATH THE MIGHTY y0lk!@
THE WAR HAS BEGUN!
-- anonymous
okay, thats what those of us in AA call an icebreaker.
-------get on with the issue already----------------------------------------
I think those messages are supposed to indicate the voice of y0lk or
something. Maybe the voice of God...maybe one of my many schizophrenic
personalities. I have many personalities...but theyre all identical
so it gets kinda confusing.
-------PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!----------------------
w00...a wizard of oz reference. That movie was pretty cool. Its about
this chick that took too much nutmeg and started seeing wild shit. I
dunno...i really never got the wizard of oz. It musta been pretty cool
when it came out. Ya know, going to the movies and seeing color for the
first time. Of course some little fucker would probably get to you
before then and blow it for you.
...the best part is when she opens the door and its all in
COLOR@!
You fucker. You ruined the best part.
lifes like that.
------------you bore me like a mutha---------------------------------------
Who the fuck are you to judge me? Who the fuck ARE you? Shut the hell up
until you can tell me who you are, and how your messages keep appearing
on my screen.
------------------my name is jim, and its a secret--------------------------
uh huh.
Another cool thing about the wiz--
----i like long walks on the beach, holding hands under the sta-- ----------
okay, shut the fuck up, muthabitch.
---------------------tee hee------------------------------------------------
As I was saying...a cool thing about that movie is in one scene you are
supposedly able to see a munchkin hanging himself in the background! How
funny is that?! A fucking munchkin goes bouncing up and down on a rope
in the background. Oh, jeez. Dont believe me? Ive never seen it but
they tell me you are able to see him bounce down very blurry in the
background of somewhere around where the witch throws a fireball at the
scarecrow. gotta love those midgets.
----------thats like that dead kid in three men and a baby-----------------
Jim, dont even get me started. That was such a publicity stunt its not
even funny...
-----------------ya never know----------------------------------------------
yuppers. I love midgets. Especially when they are screaming and jumping
up and down. You hafta picture it...then youd see what i mean.
woo00oo. A lotta things I think are funny you hafta picture in your
mind.
----------- ya mean like a midget eating a cantaloupe?----------------------
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!@ You got the secret word for today:
Cantaloupe!!
woooooo0000000ooooooo0000000ooooo00000oooo!!
Anyone remember pee-wees playhouse? That show was fucked up...
--------connect the dots...La la la la!@------------------------------------
But, alas, pee-wee did something that kinda destroyed his career as
Saturday morns most annoying TV personality and, well, that was that.
Last I saw he was a vampire in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
---------- shudder -------------------------------------------------------
yea. lifes like that.
Oh well, jim, thanks for being here tonight.
------------- no prob ------------------------------------------------------
We didnt get to everything I wanted to but, hey, we covered a hell of a
lot like:
- y0lk thoughts
- the wizard of oz review for the mentally disturbed
- jim
- midgets
- pee-wee : the story of greatness
- the social-economic problems of Russia look carefully
- dead kids
- cantaloupes
We didnt have time for tonight:
- stupid pet tricks
- review of clerks
- women who want to be men who want to be women
- mutters guide to obscene hand gestures
Oh well...maybe next time.
NOW!! Print up 20 copies of this y0lk and distribute them to homeless
men in your community !!
--head-samurai-notes!------------------------------------------------------
*i* sure do love mutter. hes eleet. hes in p201. thank you,
mutter mutter@erebus.magsystems.com for that.
--edit0rz el8 k0mm3ntz------------------------------------------------------
wow, like, our member list has practically tripled since 50. new
guys this way and that. well. neato. if youre an avid y0lk fan like you
know you are, always feel free to get in touch with us. contacts are just
below the index thingie.
--index---------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
TT
--infoez---------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
creed is god. get used to it.
email creed@nexxus.novasys.com to contact me. yep.
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /pub/ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
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