....72....
y0lk lame-asciibyideal
I ?oql I
, dpp
:oo d??o
: ???b ???p ?oql :
, ???? d??? dpp o@ ,
. ????b ???p /o@o d??o ?oql .
q???? d???+++888+++ ???p ?s
????boo!???*+o+* d??? ods
. o?pop???p*ok0ko* ???p opod .
. ?????ot0 0to??? /dob .
p????ooo : oo?? dp q??
?????pot0 0to?? ?
. ????/ *ok0ko*??p db o .
, d????? *+o+*???do sSo ,
: op????p +++666+++d???????lllboo odo :
?????o o@o/ C???????????????q o:,
ooov, opvpo ?P
I I
lame-asciibyideal y0lk
....72....
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
oO0 fun on the phone no h/p content though! 0Oo
hi kids, im bored as hell. so i thought i would write another y0lk issue.
personally, i hate my last submission but oh well, we all make mistakes.
except for rodrigo sanchez, the 13 year old exchange student from my school
that will graduate when he is 14
anyways i just got home from work. work sucked when i got there but then my
supervisor left so i made it more interesting. let me tell you about my 3
hours at work.
-My day at work-
-by ideal-
Let me start off by explaining my job to you all. I punch into the time
clock at about 5:00 pm and then its fun fun fun until 8:00 *writers note
- the last part about fun was meant to be a HUGE dose of sarcasm. If you
did not realize this, you are dumb and should be skinned alive, dipped in
salt, and fed to starving cows.*. What i do at work has got to be the most
boring, un-eventful thing in america. I call up complete strangers on the
phone and read them this pre-made script that talks about a symphony or
theatre company depends on what were calling for at the time and my goal
is to get them to give me as much money as i possibly can. Usually i end up
with nothing cuz i suck at it and then i go home. So, other than the
periodical crazy person or argument i have with the people i call, my job
sucks unless i do something about it. Today i tried to do something about
it and it was one of those rare occasions that it actually worked.
I walked throught the big double doors at 5:00, watched my punch-card get
swallowed by the clock and spit back up with a brand new tattoo on it, and
then i took my place at my little cubicle sp?. Today i noticed that they
happened to place me in the far back corner where no one else was sitting.
Hmm.. kinda nice i thought. That way no one will bug me or listen to how
well i give the script. Well, you can probably guess that sitting there got
old real fast.
Lucky day! my supervisor left at 6:00 so that meant that there was no
chance that anyone was listening in on my phone line. So, i peeled my butt
from my chair and strolled ever-so-slowly into the kitchen. when i got
there, i made a bee-line for the snack machine. I saw inside: twix, mms,
chocolate chip cookies, Mr. Goodbar, Snickers, etc.. I was pissed! not
only was i at work, but there was nothing good to eat for me cuz i fucking
hate chocolate! GRR!
When i got back to my cubicle, i was still grumbling to myself about how
much chocolate sucks. I looked at my computer screen to see the name of
the next person i was calling. her name was Kim Janox. I decided to try
something i had once seen in an old movie. the conversation went like this.
:Kim: hello, Janoxs!
:me: Kim???? is that you?!?!?
:Kim: Uh, yeah. Whos this?
:me: Its jake! Jake Dern.
:Kim: ummm..... uh...
:me: oh come on! you dont remember? we went to high school together!
:Kim: hmm... jake sounds familiar.. uhmm...
:me: remember, i sat in the front row in math class junior year!
:Kim: oh! hmmm??.. pause Oh yeah! now i remember you, hows it goin?
i couldnt believe this was working! i thought that she was going to hang
up on me for sure. but since she didnt i could have fun!
:me: oh, im good. I was just in town for a while and thought i would
look you up and say hi. so what do you do now? i havent heard
anything from you since forever!
:Kim: Oh, im a doctor now! pediatrition. How bout you?
:me: Im a distribution manager for a rock band. Maybe youve heard of
them... Smashing Pumpkins??
:Kim: No, sorry, but that sounds great!
:me: yeah it is! I get to travel alot you know.
the conversation was getting to conversational and boring so i set my plan
into motion.
:me: Hey, i havent been here in a long time, wheres a good place to eat?
:Kim: Westys pub is good. they have an excellent chicken sandwich!
:me: oh really? where is it?
:Kim: She gives me the address really fast so i didnt write it down you
know where that is?
:me: oh, yeah, i know where that is. are you busy tonight?
:Kim: no, why?
me: you wanna meet me there in an hour and catch up on old times?
:Kim: sure, 1 hour? should i dress up?
:me: if you want, ill be in a business suit since i just got out of a
meeting. ill reserve a table for two under my name.
:Kim: ok, see ya there, bye
:me: bye
click
i couldnt believe that it had actually worked! Work was starting to look
up. I had a lady that was about 1000 miles away we call LD going to a
restaurant somewhere to meet a friend she never had!
After that, i started talking shit to some other people just to keep my
intrest up and to keep me awake. I also left some pretty cool answering
machine messages. If ya want to know about em, tell, me and ill write em
for future y0lk issues. i dont feel like typing up anymore today.
oO0 the end foo 0Oo
--head samurais notes------------------------------------------------------
about this zine, mogel says: hi.
... umm. yeah. anyway. hmph.
--index---------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
65 UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME. creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
67 shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles ideal
68 some puppet plays phorce
69 ... Hello operator ... mutter
70 i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. traq
71 battle of the ants rage
72 fun on the phone ideal
TT
--infoez--------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
heil creed. HEIL! HEIL!
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for y0lkb0t on irc, efnet.
OR... ATTENTION y0lkies! join the y0lk mailing list! chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too! email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
subscribe y0lk in the body of the message.
dont you feel like youre getting a little too much information here?
couldnt we just show our ftp site and shut up? its just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
y0lk lame-asciibyideal
I ?oql I
, dpp
:oo d??o
: ???b ???p ?oql :
, ???? d??? dpp o@ ,
. ????b ???p /o@o d??o ?oql .
q???? d???+++888+++ ???p ?s
????boo!???*+o+* d??? ods
. o?pop???p*ok0ko* ???p opod .
. ?????ot0 0to??? /dob .
p????ooo : oo?? dp q??
?????pot0 0to?? ?
. ????/ *ok0ko*??p db o .
, d????? *+o+*???do sSo ,
: op????p +++666+++d???????lllboo odo :
?????o o@o/ C???????????????q o:,
ooov, opvpo ?P
I I
lame-asciibyideal y0lk
....72....
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
oO0 fun on the phone no h/p content though! 0Oo
hi kids, im bored as hell. so i thought i would write another y0lk issue.
personally, i hate my last submission but oh well, we all make mistakes.
except for rodrigo sanchez, the 13 year old exchange student from my school
that will graduate when he is 14
anyways i just got home from work. work sucked when i got there but then my
supervisor left so i made it more interesting. let me tell you about my 3
hours at work.
-My day at work-
-by ideal-
Let me start off by explaining my job to you all. I punch into the time
clock at about 5:00 pm and then its fun fun fun until 8:00 *writers note
- the last part about fun was meant to be a HUGE dose of sarcasm. If you
did not realize this, you are dumb and should be skinned alive, dipped in
salt, and fed to starving cows.*. What i do at work has got to be the most
boring, un-eventful thing in america. I call up complete strangers on the
phone and read them this pre-made script that talks about a symphony or
theatre company depends on what were calling for at the time and my goal
is to get them to give me as much money as i possibly can. Usually i end up
with nothing cuz i suck at it and then i go home. So, other than the
periodical crazy person or argument i have with the people i call, my job
sucks unless i do something about it. Today i tried to do something about
it and it was one of those rare occasions that it actually worked.
I walked throught the big double doors at 5:00, watched my punch-card get
swallowed by the clock and spit back up with a brand new tattoo on it, and
then i took my place at my little cubicle sp?. Today i noticed that they
happened to place me in the far back corner where no one else was sitting.
Hmm.. kinda nice i thought. That way no one will bug me or listen to how
well i give the script. Well, you can probably guess that sitting there got
old real fast.
Lucky day! my supervisor left at 6:00 so that meant that there was no
chance that anyone was listening in on my phone line. So, i peeled my butt
from my chair and strolled ever-so-slowly into the kitchen. when i got
there, i made a bee-line for the snack machine. I saw inside: twix, mms,
chocolate chip cookies, Mr. Goodbar, Snickers, etc.. I was pissed! not
only was i at work, but there was nothing good to eat for me cuz i fucking
hate chocolate! GRR!
When i got back to my cubicle, i was still grumbling to myself about how
much chocolate sucks. I looked at my computer screen to see the name of
the next person i was calling. her name was Kim Janox. I decided to try
something i had once seen in an old movie. the conversation went like this.
:Kim: hello, Janoxs!
:me: Kim???? is that you?!?!?
:Kim: Uh, yeah. Whos this?
:me: Its jake! Jake Dern.
:Kim: ummm..... uh...
:me: oh come on! you dont remember? we went to high school together!
:Kim: hmm... jake sounds familiar.. uhmm...
:me: remember, i sat in the front row in math class junior year!
:Kim: oh! hmmm??.. pause Oh yeah! now i remember you, hows it goin?
i couldnt believe this was working! i thought that she was going to hang
up on me for sure. but since she didnt i could have fun!
:me: oh, im good. I was just in town for a while and thought i would
look you up and say hi. so what do you do now? i havent heard
anything from you since forever!
:Kim: Oh, im a doctor now! pediatrition. How bout you?
:me: Im a distribution manager for a rock band. Maybe youve heard of
them... Smashing Pumpkins??
:Kim: No, sorry, but that sounds great!
:me: yeah it is! I get to travel alot you know.
the conversation was getting to conversational and boring so i set my plan
into motion.
:me: Hey, i havent been here in a long time, wheres a good place to eat?
:Kim: Westys pub is good. they have an excellent chicken sandwich!
:me: oh really? where is it?
:Kim: She gives me the address really fast so i didnt write it down you
know where that is?
:me: oh, yeah, i know where that is. are you busy tonight?
:Kim: no, why?
me: you wanna meet me there in an hour and catch up on old times?
:Kim: sure, 1 hour? should i dress up?
:me: if you want, ill be in a business suit since i just got out of a
meeting. ill reserve a table for two under my name.
:Kim: ok, see ya there, bye
:me: bye
click
i couldnt believe that it had actually worked! Work was starting to look
up. I had a lady that was about 1000 miles away we call LD going to a
restaurant somewhere to meet a friend she never had!
After that, i started talking shit to some other people just to keep my
intrest up and to keep me awake. I also left some pretty cool answering
machine messages. If ya want to know about em, tell, me and ill write em
for future y0lk issues. i dont feel like typing up anymore today.
oO0 the end foo 0Oo
--head samurais notes------------------------------------------------------
about this zine, mogel says: hi.
... umm. yeah. anyway. hmph.
--index---------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
65 UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME. creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
67 shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles ideal
68 some puppet plays phorce
69 ... Hello operator ... mutter
70 i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. traq
71 battle of the ants rage
72 fun on the phone ideal
TT
--infoez--------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
heil creed. HEIL! HEIL!
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for y0lkb0t on irc, efnet.
OR... ATTENTION y0lkies! join the y0lk mailing list! chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too! email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
subscribe y0lk in the body of the message.
dont you feel like youre getting a little too much information here?
couldnt we just show our ftp site and shut up? its just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
log in to add a comment.