.aThe Life Of A Demented Sysopa.
.aby Spoonyaka spoonman of Australiaa.
Yes! I am a self-confessed sysop. What is so special about that? Well I
was born a sysop! You see there are two types of sysops, wannabe sysops and
born sysops like me.
Wannabe sysops are usually little 14year old kids trying to scam some new
warez, or middleaged newish-to-modemers trying to make sense of their worth-
less lives or corporate minded losers trying to make a profit. Their boards
usually close unless they are making a profit within 6months for many
reasons, none of which are worth discussing here as wannabe sysops boards
should be avoided at all costs.
Born sysops live for their boards and callers, pleasing them is like ple-
asing themselves, every call is like an injection of life and if the board
happens to close down it always comes back up. A born sysop cannot live life
to its fullest unless he/she is running a BBS.
A sysops life in general is a thankless one! Yes we do live for our users.
If I hear that a couple of users are looking for info on something or some
files on a topic then first thing that I do is jump on the net and find it to
add to the filebase. Then theres my file binges every couple of days or at
the very least weekly when I hit the net or other boards and leech 20 to 100
sometimes more! new files, just so my users will be happy!
And if any users has a suggestion a born sysop will more often than not
follow up and implement it. Geez we have no life!
Then there are the users that logon and use up their download limits and
logoff, what? no uploads? no messages? no actual interaction with the sysop or
other users? thats right! a leech! grr!
And there is nothing worse than to come home in the afternoon or wake up
in the morning only to find that their beloved board has been crashed for
hours and nobody has been able to call and logon! ARGH!!
Another thing that pisses off sysops.... actually thats enough of what can
and always does piss off a sysop as the list could go on forever! How about I
divulge some little known secrets about how your sysop gets back at annoying
users? these are generations old tricks that have been passed down from sysop
to sysop!
Things that sysops like doing usually to annoying users or any user, it
all depends on how bored the sysop is!:
-Aborting downlods
-Editing the archive that someone is downloading ie. with edit and
corrupting it works best on BIG archives!
-Hitting pause during a download or anytime while the user is online
so the user thinks the BBS has crashed... BBSs do not REALLY crash
its just the sysop on the pause key!
-Picking up the telephone, yelling, and hangin up. This will either
give the user a severe case of line noise and in 30seconds or so
everything is back to normal or it will simply give line noise and
hangup.
-Posting the users details on newsgroups or in iRC phone numbers,
real names, sexual prefences etc :
-Posting messages to and from users ie. setting them up.
-Just reading private mail, a sysop can get alot of incriminating
information this way!
-Hanging up on a user just before they do soemthing important such
as replying to a message or downloading a file they wanted. This
not only makes the user call back and waste more money but it also
increases the total system calls!
-Many other things depending on the type of BBS software are at the
disposal of the sysop such as line noise generators and so on.
So next time you are on a BBS and something strange happens or you start
getting phone calls at 3am look no further than your favourite sysop, we are
ruthless bastards so watch out!
By the way if you would like to experience any of these tricks give my
board a ring on +61-8-2810568 or after August on +61-8-82810568 or why not
email me at spoonman@tolstoi.saccii.net.au send me your favourite text file!
and checkout my homepage at http://tolstoi.saccii.net.au/spoonman if your
bored it may amuse you for 5minutes!.
But anyway, cya later and keep y0lking!
Spoony.
--index-------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
65 UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME. creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
67 shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles ideal
68 some puppet plays phorce
69 ... Hello operator ... mutter
70 i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. traq
71 battle of the ants rage
72 fun on the phone ideal
73 yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries.. handle
74 i love you as my own mother sphrog
75 jamesy and the giant slinky jamesy
76 do not fuck with the big and hairy bears murmur
77 horror story oeb
78 dat wh0re s.sheep
79 the ewok rant taraxis
80 the arcade avenger tao
81 the night before 2600 d.cheez
82 journey into the mind of a no-brained counterculturist taraxis
83 a generic y0lk file mogel
84 cultural inclination? m.head
85 australia through the eyes of a spoon spoony
86 the life of a demented sysop spoony
TT
--infoez--------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is a crazed oriental, looking for revenge, but not a y0lk member.
heil creed. HEIL! HEIL!
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for y0lkb0t on irc, efnet. type @y0lk number for y0lks.
OR... ATTENTION y0lkies! join the y0lk mailing list! chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too! email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
subscribe y0lk in the body of the message.
OR! *new* alt.zines.y0lk! subscribe today! yes, folks, YOU can READ the
NEWSGROUP alt.zines.y0lk! isnt that special? join y0lknet too. thank phorce.
if you have ANY normal internet provider, you can read alt.zines.y0lk!@
dont you feel like youre getting a little too much information here?
couldnt we just show our ftp site and shut up? its just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
.aby Spoonyaka spoonman of Australiaa.
Yes! I am a self-confessed sysop. What is so special about that? Well I
was born a sysop! You see there are two types of sysops, wannabe sysops and
born sysops like me.
Wannabe sysops are usually little 14year old kids trying to scam some new
warez, or middleaged newish-to-modemers trying to make sense of their worth-
less lives or corporate minded losers trying to make a profit. Their boards
usually close unless they are making a profit within 6months for many
reasons, none of which are worth discussing here as wannabe sysops boards
should be avoided at all costs.
Born sysops live for their boards and callers, pleasing them is like ple-
asing themselves, every call is like an injection of life and if the board
happens to close down it always comes back up. A born sysop cannot live life
to its fullest unless he/she is running a BBS.
A sysops life in general is a thankless one! Yes we do live for our users.
If I hear that a couple of users are looking for info on something or some
files on a topic then first thing that I do is jump on the net and find it to
add to the filebase. Then theres my file binges every couple of days or at
the very least weekly when I hit the net or other boards and leech 20 to 100
sometimes more! new files, just so my users will be happy!
And if any users has a suggestion a born sysop will more often than not
follow up and implement it. Geez we have no life!
Then there are the users that logon and use up their download limits and
logoff, what? no uploads? no messages? no actual interaction with the sysop or
other users? thats right! a leech! grr!
And there is nothing worse than to come home in the afternoon or wake up
in the morning only to find that their beloved board has been crashed for
hours and nobody has been able to call and logon! ARGH!!
Another thing that pisses off sysops.... actually thats enough of what can
and always does piss off a sysop as the list could go on forever! How about I
divulge some little known secrets about how your sysop gets back at annoying
users? these are generations old tricks that have been passed down from sysop
to sysop!
Things that sysops like doing usually to annoying users or any user, it
all depends on how bored the sysop is!:
-Aborting downlods
-Editing the archive that someone is downloading ie. with edit and
corrupting it works best on BIG archives!
-Hitting pause during a download or anytime while the user is online
so the user thinks the BBS has crashed... BBSs do not REALLY crash
its just the sysop on the pause key!
-Picking up the telephone, yelling, and hangin up. This will either
give the user a severe case of line noise and in 30seconds or so
everything is back to normal or it will simply give line noise and
hangup.
-Posting the users details on newsgroups or in iRC phone numbers,
real names, sexual prefences etc :
-Posting messages to and from users ie. setting them up.
-Just reading private mail, a sysop can get alot of incriminating
information this way!
-Hanging up on a user just before they do soemthing important such
as replying to a message or downloading a file they wanted. This
not only makes the user call back and waste more money but it also
increases the total system calls!
-Many other things depending on the type of BBS software are at the
disposal of the sysop such as line noise generators and so on.
So next time you are on a BBS and something strange happens or you start
getting phone calls at 3am look no further than your favourite sysop, we are
ruthless bastards so watch out!
By the way if you would like to experience any of these tricks give my
board a ring on +61-8-2810568 or after August on +61-8-82810568 or why not
email me at spoonman@tolstoi.saccii.net.au send me your favourite text file!
and checkout my homepage at http://tolstoi.saccii.net.au/spoonman if your
bored it may amuse you for 5minutes!.
But anyway, cya later and keep y0lking!
Spoony.
--index-------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
65 UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME. creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
67 shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles ideal
68 some puppet plays phorce
69 ... Hello operator ... mutter
70 i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. traq
71 battle of the ants rage
72 fun on the phone ideal
73 yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries.. handle
74 i love you as my own mother sphrog
75 jamesy and the giant slinky jamesy
76 do not fuck with the big and hairy bears murmur
77 horror story oeb
78 dat wh0re s.sheep
79 the ewok rant taraxis
80 the arcade avenger tao
81 the night before 2600 d.cheez
82 journey into the mind of a no-brained counterculturist taraxis
83 a generic y0lk file mogel
84 cultural inclination? m.head
85 australia through the eyes of a spoon spoony
86 the life of a demented sysop spoony
TT
--infoez--------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is a crazed oriental, looking for revenge, but not a y0lk member.
heil creed. HEIL! HEIL!
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for y0lkb0t on irc, efnet. type @y0lk number for y0lks.
OR... ATTENTION y0lkies! join the y0lk mailing list! chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too! email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
subscribe y0lk in the body of the message.
OR! *new* alt.zines.y0lk! subscribe today! yes, folks, YOU can READ the
NEWSGROUP alt.zines.y0lk! isnt that special? join y0lknet too. thank phorce.
if you have ANY normal internet provider, you can read alt.zines.y0lk!@
dont you feel like youre getting a little too much information here?
couldnt we just show our ftp site and shut up? its just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
log in to add a comment.