---y0lk 95----------------------------------------------------------------
y0lk 95: fish pillows, mothers, and limericks
---y0lk 95----------------------------------------------------------------
HEAD
y0lk.
wes a good zine.
/HEAD
header by me... spacephrog sphrogsphr0g5phr0g
varying levels of radness...
-Opening Riddle--------------------------------------------------------
jane ordered something at a restraunt that had five as.
what was it?@! answer at end of y0lk. if i forget, its
not my fault... for some reason
-hey sphrog, these divider thingies seem more r4d than usual...--------
thats because i found one of those ass-key chart things that tells me which
keys to press to become more and more 31337.
-poetry corner---------------------------------------------------------
my room has a futon in it
it has three stuffed fish on it
its not because im psycho
or because i love fish
its because my moms psycho
and she got them for me.
when she got them, i said thanks mom, thanks a lot for the fish.
one night, i heard the fish walking around
but it wasnt because im psycho
or because they were walking around
its because my mom was walking around downstairs
and i was hearing her.
if you arrange the fish the right way, it looks like theyre having sex.
..fin..
-two zine guys outside blimpie-----------------------------------------
namely me and phorce
it starts to rain
phorce: raining.
sphrog: yup.
phorce: whats all this water falling from the sky?
sphrog: yeah... what the hell is this?
phorce: someone stop it.
sphrog: man... someones gonna get hurt.
phorce: wakk.
sphrog: its a conspiracy i tell you.
phorce: nods.
sphrog: those people in washington prolly have something to do with this.
phorce: yup.
sphrog: i disapprove.
-dogs have penises too-------------------------------------------------
most things that are male have penises. girl dogs dont have penises.
-convo with the momz---------------------------------------------------
report cards came home... this conversation inevitably ensues:
momz: hmm... c- in math? whats goin on?
mike: uhm...
momz: is inconsistant in effort? what does THAT mean?
mike: that means that i dont produce a consistant amount of effort.
momz: thats not good... C+ in HISTORY!@? what happened?
mike: shes a rediculous grader... that was the highest grade in the class!@
translation: this is an outright lie, but i always have to use this
excuse at least once.
momz: why dont i believe that?
mike: coughcuzitsaliecoughcough
momz: what was that?
mike: something stuck in my throat.
.. pause ..
momz: you need to spend less time on the computer.
mike: ugh... here we go again... translation: im a loser... its my job, and
nothing you say will change my mind.
momz: and you need to go get help in math... translation: youre dumb as a
rock... get helpz
..phone rings..
momz: into phone hello? dunno... to me mike, are you doing anything
friday night? the smiths name has been changed want you to babysit.
mike: im uhm... going to great adventure that day, dunno when Im gettin
home. translation: of course not... im a loser. im getting home
at six thirty, but you dont know that, and i dont wanna babysit...
momz: into phone well... talk to him ::hands the phone to me::
---------phone convo------------
mike: yeallow...
smith: yeah... i was wondering if you wanted to babysit friday night...
mike: welp.. im going to great adventure that day during school, and I dont
know what time im gettin home.
smith: aah... so you dont know if youre getting home before 8:30?
mike: nope... and I dont wanna commit... translation: im getting home at
6:30, and I dont wanna babysit
smith: okay... well... thanks anyway.
---------end phone convo----------
momz who was listening: you DONT KNOW WHEN YOURE GETTING HOME!@? it
CANT be too late...
mike: they wanted me to go over at 6:00.
momz: so what are you gonna do when you get home, go on the computer?
mike: dunno.
momz: im serious. translation: youre pathetic... get a fuckin life
mike: i might go to this ska thing... translation: i might MAKE SOMETHING UP
to make you feel better.
momz: right....
.. i walk upstairs ..
-limericks-------------------------------------------------------------
..limerick 1
there once was a man named metcalf
he walked through the fields with giraffe
he fell on his face
puked all oer the place
dont know what else rhymes with metcalf
..limerick 2
the man used to rob the house
he robbed it of all the mouse
he ate all the food
cuz he was real rude
got DAMN was this guy a louse
..limerick 3
corn is the food of the gods
indians think corns from pods
ctually thats a lie
they know more than i
cuz they are it since they were tots
whats that? tots doesnt rhyme with gods? well... FUCK YOU
..limerick 4
bitch bitch fuck a real fat duck
you asshole you fucking fat fuck
go suck my left nut
you useless slut
i cant believe youre alive, you fucking moron... you deseve to be shot
end
---samurai notes-----------------------------------------------------------
crazy spacephrog mmccurdy@nexxus.novasys.com kid.
in y0lk news: creed is away florida maybe. i am in charge of y0lk for a
few days. woo. the power!!
---THE OFFICIAL Y0LK HTML IS UP!!----------------------------------------
other y0lk news: visit http://www.openix.com/phorce/y0lk/ for the official
y0lk html!
---index!-----------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
65 UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME. creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
67 shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles ideal
68 some puppet plays phorce
69 ... Hello operator ... mutter
70 i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. traq
71 battle of the ants rage
72 fun on the phone ideal
73 yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries.. handle
74 i love you as my own mother sphrog
75 jamesy and the giant slinky jamesy
76 do not fuck with the big and hairy bears murmur
77 horror story oeb
78 dat wh0re s.sheep
79 the ewok rant taraxis
80 the arcade avenger tao
81 the night before 2600 d.cheez
82 journey into the mind of a no-brained counterculturist taraxis
83 a generic y0lk file mogel
84 cultural inclination? m.head
85 australia through the eyes of a spoon spoony
86 the life of a demented sysop spoony
87 little johnny carpenter franman
88 phan male ideal
89 bighurt is back! bighurt
90 the discovery channel sphrog
91 fruitopia caps!@ bighurt
92 the story of carla trip
93 a joltcola y0lk joltcola
94 spinsanes story spinsane
95 fish pillows, mothers, and limericks sphrog
TT
--infoez-------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk!@ beware!
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
mindcrime is a crazed oriental looking for revenge.
clarification: mindcrime may actually be a y0lk member. no one knows.
heil creed. HEIL! HEIL!
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp://ftp.openix.com/ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for y0lkb0t on irc, efnet. type @y0lk number for y0lks.
OR... ATTENTION y0lkies! join the y0lk mailing list! chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too! email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
subscribe y0lk in the body of the message.
OR! *new* alt.zines.y0lk! subscribe today! yes, folks, YOU can READ the
NEWSGROUP alt.zines.y0lk! isnt that special? join y0lknet too. thank phorce.
if you have ANY normal internet provider, you can read alt.zines.y0lk!@
OR OR OR!@ the *official* y0lk html is at http://www.openix.com/phorce/y0lk/
OR! coming soon! micro pirate radio! a y0lk hour-of-fun ON THE AIR!
sorry, available only for those in the northern new jersey area.
dont you feel like youre getting a little too much information here?
couldnt we just show our ftp site and shut up? its just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
y0lk 95: fish pillows, mothers, and limericks
---y0lk 95----------------------------------------------------------------
HEAD
y0lk.
wes a good zine.
/HEAD
header by me... spacephrog sphrogsphr0g5phr0g
varying levels of radness...
-Opening Riddle--------------------------------------------------------
jane ordered something at a restraunt that had five as.
what was it?@! answer at end of y0lk. if i forget, its
not my fault... for some reason
-hey sphrog, these divider thingies seem more r4d than usual...--------
thats because i found one of those ass-key chart things that tells me which
keys to press to become more and more 31337.
-poetry corner---------------------------------------------------------
my room has a futon in it
it has three stuffed fish on it
its not because im psycho
or because i love fish
its because my moms psycho
and she got them for me.
when she got them, i said thanks mom, thanks a lot for the fish.
one night, i heard the fish walking around
but it wasnt because im psycho
or because they were walking around
its because my mom was walking around downstairs
and i was hearing her.
if you arrange the fish the right way, it looks like theyre having sex.
..fin..
-two zine guys outside blimpie-----------------------------------------
namely me and phorce
it starts to rain
phorce: raining.
sphrog: yup.
phorce: whats all this water falling from the sky?
sphrog: yeah... what the hell is this?
phorce: someone stop it.
sphrog: man... someones gonna get hurt.
phorce: wakk.
sphrog: its a conspiracy i tell you.
phorce: nods.
sphrog: those people in washington prolly have something to do with this.
phorce: yup.
sphrog: i disapprove.
-dogs have penises too-------------------------------------------------
most things that are male have penises. girl dogs dont have penises.
-convo with the momz---------------------------------------------------
report cards came home... this conversation inevitably ensues:
momz: hmm... c- in math? whats goin on?
mike: uhm...
momz: is inconsistant in effort? what does THAT mean?
mike: that means that i dont produce a consistant amount of effort.
momz: thats not good... C+ in HISTORY!@? what happened?
mike: shes a rediculous grader... that was the highest grade in the class!@
translation: this is an outright lie, but i always have to use this
excuse at least once.
momz: why dont i believe that?
mike: coughcuzitsaliecoughcough
momz: what was that?
mike: something stuck in my throat.
.. pause ..
momz: you need to spend less time on the computer.
mike: ugh... here we go again... translation: im a loser... its my job, and
nothing you say will change my mind.
momz: and you need to go get help in math... translation: youre dumb as a
rock... get helpz
..phone rings..
momz: into phone hello? dunno... to me mike, are you doing anything
friday night? the smiths name has been changed want you to babysit.
mike: im uhm... going to great adventure that day, dunno when Im gettin
home. translation: of course not... im a loser. im getting home
at six thirty, but you dont know that, and i dont wanna babysit...
momz: into phone well... talk to him ::hands the phone to me::
---------phone convo------------
mike: yeallow...
smith: yeah... i was wondering if you wanted to babysit friday night...
mike: welp.. im going to great adventure that day during school, and I dont
know what time im gettin home.
smith: aah... so you dont know if youre getting home before 8:30?
mike: nope... and I dont wanna commit... translation: im getting home at
6:30, and I dont wanna babysit
smith: okay... well... thanks anyway.
---------end phone convo----------
momz who was listening: you DONT KNOW WHEN YOURE GETTING HOME!@? it
CANT be too late...
mike: they wanted me to go over at 6:00.
momz: so what are you gonna do when you get home, go on the computer?
mike: dunno.
momz: im serious. translation: youre pathetic... get a fuckin life
mike: i might go to this ska thing... translation: i might MAKE SOMETHING UP
to make you feel better.
momz: right....
.. i walk upstairs ..
-limericks-------------------------------------------------------------
..limerick 1
there once was a man named metcalf
he walked through the fields with giraffe
he fell on his face
puked all oer the place
dont know what else rhymes with metcalf
..limerick 2
the man used to rob the house
he robbed it of all the mouse
he ate all the food
cuz he was real rude
got DAMN was this guy a louse
..limerick 3
corn is the food of the gods
indians think corns from pods
ctually thats a lie
they know more than i
cuz they are it since they were tots
whats that? tots doesnt rhyme with gods? well... FUCK YOU
..limerick 4
bitch bitch fuck a real fat duck
you asshole you fucking fat fuck
go suck my left nut
you useless slut
i cant believe youre alive, you fucking moron... you deseve to be shot
end
---samurai notes-----------------------------------------------------------
crazy spacephrog mmccurdy@nexxus.novasys.com kid.
in y0lk news: creed is away florida maybe. i am in charge of y0lk for a
few days. woo. the power!!
---THE OFFICIAL Y0LK HTML IS UP!!----------------------------------------
other y0lk news: visit http://www.openix.com/phorce/y0lk/ for the official
y0lk html!
---index!-----------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
65 UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME. creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
67 shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles ideal
68 some puppet plays phorce
69 ... Hello operator ... mutter
70 i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. traq
71 battle of the ants rage
72 fun on the phone ideal
73 yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries.. handle
74 i love you as my own mother sphrog
75 jamesy and the giant slinky jamesy
76 do not fuck with the big and hairy bears murmur
77 horror story oeb
78 dat wh0re s.sheep
79 the ewok rant taraxis
80 the arcade avenger tao
81 the night before 2600 d.cheez
82 journey into the mind of a no-brained counterculturist taraxis
83 a generic y0lk file mogel
84 cultural inclination? m.head
85 australia through the eyes of a spoon spoony
86 the life of a demented sysop spoony
87 little johnny carpenter franman
88 phan male ideal
89 bighurt is back! bighurt
90 the discovery channel sphrog
91 fruitopia caps!@ bighurt
92 the story of carla trip
93 a joltcola y0lk joltcola
94 spinsanes story spinsane
95 fish pillows, mothers, and limericks sphrog
TT
--infoez-------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk!@ beware!
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
mindcrime is a crazed oriental looking for revenge.
clarification: mindcrime may actually be a y0lk member. no one knows.
heil creed. HEIL! HEIL!
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp://ftp.openix.com/ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for y0lkb0t on irc, efnet. type @y0lk number for y0lks.
OR... ATTENTION y0lkies! join the y0lk mailing list! chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too! email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
subscribe y0lk in the body of the message.
OR! *new* alt.zines.y0lk! subscribe today! yes, folks, YOU can READ the
NEWSGROUP alt.zines.y0lk! isnt that special? join y0lknet too. thank phorce.
if you have ANY normal internet provider, you can read alt.zines.y0lk!@
OR OR OR!@ the *official* y0lk html is at http://www.openix.com/phorce/y0lk/
OR! coming soon! micro pirate radio! a y0lk hour-of-fun ON THE AIR!
sorry, available only for those in the northern new jersey area.
dont you feel like youre getting a little too much information here?
couldnt we just show our ftp site and shut up? its just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
log in to add a comment.