hen
t h e e r
the blender purees
p r e l i m i n a r i e s
The Blender kicked off again last weekend. The timing is never a surprise,
since we announce every upcoming Blender date in the footer of the previous
Blender packs infofiles, but softcore artists fail to put the date in their
calendar and dont make time for it when the time comes. Present company not
excepted -- Cthulu has had to ghost a Blender because his family was being
terrorized by Canada geese at a bird sanctuary, and this time around Warpus
was on the road between his family cabin getaway and home. In the summertime
it doesnt matter whether people know about the Blender or not, they just
have other stuff they need to do! No excuses needed, thats just the way of
the world.
warpus I MADE IT
Cthmist got tired of faking it?
That said, the Blender blends on, whether its a big compo or a small one.
As long as we have three words, three entries and one host, theres a compo!
This time we passed that low bar. And then there are the fans and enthusiasts
floating around, drinking in the Blender milieu but unrepresented in the final
reckoning. They can make it look like youre going to have a big Blender, but
if they dont send art in, all you got was good IRC log for the infofile. And
to be fair, isnt that the foundations that a decentralized, virtual community
is built on? ... But I digress. First, lets get our words out of the way:
i n p u t
Cthmist so before we can kick this compo off
people need to send in some topics
it excites artists to be tapping subjects they just personally came
up with and inflicted on the rest of us
or as heinlein said about editors, they like the taste better after
they pee in it a little...
Skrubly Hm, that heinlein quote reminds me about the duck from battle chess:
https://bwiggs.com/notebook/queens-duck/
Brian Wigginton: The Queens Duck
Cthmist I remember hearing how the South Park guys made some scenes in Team
America as censor bait, thinking that if they filled their appetite
removing scenes that crossed the line 100, they might overlook
scenes that only cross the line 50
Cthmist OK, more word suggestions needed everyone
you dont want to leave it to me or Ill just pull the strings to
make all the artists required to re-enact scenes from Zardoz
aw no, not again!
pcrtxn lol i was also trying to do that but just the sean connery part last
night
Cthmist you were trying to revive apathetics by making them drink your
sweat?
pcrtxn yeah - it was the natural extension of threatening to sell my boob
sweat on the internet to pay my bills and quit working. heat wave
fried my damn brain
Cthmist streamlining the belle delphine equation
pcrtxn in troll timelines, gamer girl pee was around on irc long before she
was old enough to type.
efnet: not just the birthplace of extremist content
Cthmist all right friends, we have words!
start your engines
who is this Blender about?
THE GRIM REAPER
we decided to keep it light
whats he doing?
SPREADING PESTILENCE
summertime fun
where is he doing it?
LIVE ON STAGE AT A MAJOR AWARDS SHOW
see you all in 24 hours!
pcrtxn thats basically the last few years :
the topic just made me sick to my stomach.
first computer virus to jump to humans 3
Cthmist its a sign of the times
Skrubly As usual, my reaction to the selected words is dismay,
followed by anguish
.... and then by INSPIRATION!
Cthmist OK friends, Ill be in and out over the next 24h, I will be
disappearing entirely at some point trying to upgrade my wireless
access point, and hopefully I dont botch it so bad you dont see
me online again by tomorrow
spoiler warning: they saw me online again by tomorrow... because I unplugged
the new, uncooperative router and stuck my old one back in its place in time to
wrap the compo... then went back to wrestling with the new one for two more
days!
Cthmist Are you going to try your hand at blending again, filth?
filth Word up, I most likely will be!
I feel like the blender topic is similar to a few metal shows
Ive been to in the past
Something about this just screams Megadeth
warpus nice!
i also have some ideas for these words..
but i sort of ate one too many edibles about an hour ago
filth Youre so ready for this
s o r e a d y f o r t h i s . . .
A shiny white limousine with 12 wheels and gold contours pulled up to the
entrance of the recently-renovated Dolby Theatre. This was by no means the
most extravagant vehicle to pull up to the theatre that night, but it drew a
commotion from the crowd nevertheless. While most of the focus remained on
the red carpet and the royal hovercraft, several paparazzi drones flew over to
inspect the new arrivals.
One of the doors slid open and a foot stepped out of the limo. Wearing a
furry vest with raisins, Robo Brad Pitts left foot descended down onto the
red carpet with graceful authority. Waving to fans behind the security
forcefield, he extended a hand and allowed his concubine to step out with
equal grace. Wearing a lettuce-based leotard, the mysterious companion was
covered in the latest in galactic fashion, including the space whale cheese
hat.
In the distance a group of Bulgarian ventriloquists danced in unison to the
tune of the latest k-rock hit about toasters. This years International
Cabbage Awards were gearing up to be the most exciting in decades!
then something happened and the dose of the edibles must have drifted either
too high or too low in potency, Warpus story ends here...
o u t p u t
TheKnight how much time is left?
Cthmist Like 8 minutes
Time to get started, tk!
warpus wooo
the big apple has dropped
and the tiny tomato
send in any last subs now!
wondering if @filth finished his sub?
Cthmist he actually changed his order to a sloppy joe
Skrub is down for the count, but were receiving a submission
from his daughter Minoomah again
her first ANSI!
this is the long game folks
is a skrub a guy who cant get no love? no, its spelled
differently, trust me
Cthmist OK, relatively low participation makes for quick judging
kniffy, we dont score past the top three, and we had four entries
to judge. so your song gets an honorable mention but no place at
the podium!
in third place... progeny of Blender legend Skrubly... making her
first ANSI screen ever... one point for Minoomah of P.u.P.!
warpus in second place..
probably representing mistigris..
Cthmist second place... demonstrating again he isnt strictly limited to
Star Trek subjects... Darkman Almighty!
sorry warp, I lapped you there
you can announce the winner
just dont leave him hanging for hours this time
warpus ... DARKMAN ALMIGHTY
dramatic pauses are a lost art
TheKnight And the winner is? drumsolo
Cthmist tk, you can probably guess!
warpus whoa its tk WITH A SURPRISE FINAL SUBMISSION
or not
Cthmist that would have been cool, but
warpus, is that pause dramatic enough?
TheKnight oh cmon, this pause is way too dramatic ! the people need the air
Cohaagen! tell us !
warpus this is approaching mexican soap opera levels of drama
Cthmist all right warpus, put him out of his misery
warpus MR. ... ... ....
Mr Roboto pooppy butthole
Cthmist sadly, mr. poopy butthole was unavailable to participate this time
around, but if were lucky next time they may subject us to their
ongoing explorations into the use of the colour brown
warpus ROBOTO
TheKnight Oh how devious of Mr Roboto - like staying silent on chat for
weeks, and then winning blender secretly !
But congrats anyways man.
Mr Roboto well, I have an announcement!
Im taking a break from Blender
3 wins on a row! This is like Casino
warpus remember, 5 wins in a row and you win a free blender
Mr Roboto you have to retire when youre winning!
Congratulations to everyone participating this time,
it wasnt an easy topic at all!
hope you enjoy the piece
TheKnight See this is why i dont compete any more. Theres always some
secret super hero outgunning you with more blocks and more skillz.
Cthmist tk, its a good problem for the scene to have!
warpus the next superhero could be youuuuu
Cthmist no, probably not me.
TheKnight im too old man, my horse wont carry me much further and my
platemail is wearing me down in this desert
warpus have you tried turning your horse off and back on again
Cthmist warpus, I try to avoid turning my horse on
Cthmist ok everyone, good game! Well get the pack out shortly and ...
Im guessing well see you not roboto though around here next up
circa October 22-23!
Cthmist Thanks to our participants and winners, kniffy, minoomah, darkman
almighty and mr roboto!
t h e r e a d e r s dige s t
To recap, in short, Skrublys kid Minoomah wins a point for their made-up
group P.u.P with their first ANSI ever, which demonstrated a solid grasp on
at least one of the topic prompts one more than we detected in kniffys song,
which wasnt a terrible piece of music but didnt seem to be making great use
of the topics Mistigris claims the points for Darkman Almightys second
place win, and Mister Roboto sends his three points from his latest 1st-place
win having won every single Blender he has ever participated in! to his new
affiliation with the LIA crew at https://lia.rebelion.digital/ ... and thats
how things will remain until the next chance to shake up the rankings comes up
in October, a bit over a week before Halloween! Mark it in your calendar or
... run the risk of complaining that you werent aware it would be happening.
w e l l m e e t a g a i n . . .
if there ever is another blender, it will most likely be held:
if not sooner!
saturday, october 22nd - sunday, october 23rd, 2022
2:00pm - 2:00pm est
blender on EFnet
please join us. - hennifer
warpus
cthulu