hen
t h e e r
the blender: 4/20 edition
nitron brmm!! brmm!! just testing out my blender
what do you get if you put your hand in the blender?
a HANDSHAKE
warpus haha hey thats actually a pretty good dad joke
warpus SEVEN CRAZY MINUTES UNTIL BLENDER BEGINS
t h e u s u a l p r o b l e m s . . .
warpus Cthulu has promised me that he will be co-hosting as best as he can
from his phone, while he attends an Irish cat dance competition.
He still seems to be getting seated at the dance hall, so lets get
started without him
nitron are the cats all Irish or is it just Irish peoples cats?
warpus thats the question! It might not have anything to do with cats
after all.
nitron Cats in ireland dancing?
g e t t i n g a l l w o r d e d u p
warpus Nows the time to send in your words, if you have any. We are
looking for a SUBJECT i.e. a half horse half cat hybrid, an ACTIVITY
i.e. performing knee sex, and a LOCATION i.e. on the death star
toilet
give us 10-15 minutes to sort through the submitted words, throw them
into our magic word picking device, and read out the results
cthulu I am here at the Irish cat dance competition
Send in your words to warpus please
checs Tesla crashing a Tesla into a crowd of Workers?
cthulu Elon musk wearing musk in Moscow
warpus hey checs please submit your words in a private message
i should have specified. i blame cthulu
warpus LISTEN UP EVERYONE. WE HAVE SOMETHING TO ANNOUNCE
THE WORDS HAVE BEEN SELECTED
cthulu Who is the what warp?
warpus The subject this time around.. is.. something weve all secretely
always wanted to draw.. A DRAGON
cthulu Yow! Here is a wild activity to throw into the mix: HOT YOGA
warpus and the location is of course.. we all knew it was coming.. A GROW OP
cthulu Happy 4/20!
warpus thats DRAGON / HOT YOGA / GROW OP
Skrubly I think there are some great possibilities with these, especially
since I hail from an area that popularized both hot yoga and
marijuana cultivation
warpus how perfect is that. I bet theres dragons in your local taverns
history if you dig deep enough too
m i s c c h a t t e r
2Stoned Waiting for my Bloody Mary. Need to recover from last night to get
ready for a Primus concert tonight. Happy 420 homies.
nitron wow primus, what decade is it lol thos guys are still playin shows??
2Stoned Ya. Super bitchen stuff. Apparently the show is nuts. Leave it to
claypool. Hollywood bowl.
warpus Primus sucks
2Stoned Yes. Indeed. Ive got that shirt.
checs Who would win on a wrestling match? Les Claypool or god?
warpus i reckon itd be someones big brown beaver, somehow
warpus I am now preparing italian meatballs, mashed potatoes, and gravy for
dinner. it will not be healthy. All blender employees are invited to
join me
cthulu Im on my way!
cthu arrives two weeks later
t h e s c o r e s
cthulu We have sequestered ourselves into the judging chambers
warpus hey who hotboxed the judging chambers
cthulu There is smoke coming out of the chimney but it doesnt mean anything,
still deliberating
More smoke
Now someone is delivering a pizza
The pizza delivery guy never left, now a second pizza delivery is
coming to bring more pizza to the first one
warpus pizznception?
cthulu Okay friends, judging is just about wrapped up
The pizza delivery guys were the guest judges
We had to explain our judging criteria and rubric a few times
Thanks to all the participants
For most of this compo it looked like there were hardly going to be
any!
warpus Thanks for participating given the high af circumstances
cthulu Then at the last moment most of the submissions came in
Actually we were sent an AI piece about two minutes after the words
were announced
But they are not eligible for competition
warpus we have a butlerian jihad inspired rule for those
cthulu Arrakis was the word last time
warpus im having flashbacks
cthulu Ok, honorable mention for toocool, these dont ever place but you are
dedicated! We never saw your ascii art friend
Scoring this time got a little complicated
warpus We used types of math to compute the final podium stadings that exist
only in the journals of certain Hungarian mathematicians
cthulu But Ill just skip directly to second place, warpus?
warpus yeah, fuck third place
Coming in second is Skrubly, representing P.u.P.! A literary
submission that tickled all the right peripherals
cthulu I should get a tickling peripheral
But Wait!
Theres another name in the envelope for second!
It must be a tie!
warpus and not just a bowtie
cthulu I see... Zir of Fire!
I think thats... Wait a sec
warpus BUT WAIT THERES MORE
cthulu Warpus, you got something there?
warpus Peeking in the 2nd place envelope I see another name!
cthulu This is nutty
Are you high?
Seeing double?
warpus Another tie! Also coming in second is darkman almighty, representing
Mist. I think were all high!
cthulu Hang on
Now this is just getting silly
I see another tie for second place
Hats off to 2stoned of Mist!
That was weird
I think thats it
No more seconds?
warpus holy shit, the first ever 4way-2nd place blender
BUT WAIT
cthulu 4 2nds for 4 20
warpus AM I SEEING ANOTHER NAME IN THAT ENVELOPE?
zir all of this makes sense
warpus Is this a 5-way tie for second??
ahh no, Im just high.
nail No first place
cthulu There actually is a first!
warpus This weeks winner is.. Checs representing Hermanas del Perro
Magntico
I hope I got the Portugese right
we almost forgot about 1st place, but then we didnt
cthulu Theyre not just all trapped in the hell of 2nd
warpus I have ordered a hell in a cell cage setup to be installed in my
backyard, for those who placed 2nd and would like a tiebreaker fight
to the death
checs Omg I was just thinking if I was too high and never sent the entry at
all
cthulu Checs, would have been on brand for this one!
warpus I almost announced nail as the winner, due to the narcotics involved
in this competition today
zir nail is the fifth 2nd place, secretly
after the one died in a car crash, we subbed him in
cthulu I think his submission was drawn entirely in the 17th colour
warpus 2nd place is only limited by the scope of your imagination
cthulu To minimise the impact of this blenders deranged judging on the
leaderboard we are awarding all the second place winners one point
each for their crew, two points for checs
s e e y o u n e x t t i m e !
checs Thanks a lot, its been a high pleasure
TooCool Thank you all so much for the art competition. I am looking forward
to seeing the artist submissions after they are posted to the web
page.
cthulu I havent run this by warpus yet but probably well try this again the
weekend of July 20 if we stick to our usual schedule
Will try to get the results up shortly
Thanks to all our blenderers
warpus and blenderans
checs In Argentina, 20 July is the Friends day
cthulu A friend in needs a friend indeed / A friend with weed is better
Thanks again everyone, well see you in the summer!
o n e m o r e t i m e . . .
if there ever is another blender, it will most likely be held:
if not sooner!
saturday, july 20th - sunday, july 21st, 2024
2:00pm - 2:00pm est
blender on EFnet
please join us. - hennifer
warpus
cthulu