hen
t h e e r
BLENDER NEXT WEEKEND SAY TOP APPLIANCE SCIENTISTS
warpus fuck, im late
WHAT DAY IS IT
LDA Blenday.
Cthulu Hello everyone, what did I miss!
warpus you missed a crazy long discussion about the philosophical nature of
blending
in the end it was decided that nothing was decided
Cthulu sounds about right
w h e r e w o r d s c o m e f r o m
warpus Yall have 20 minutes to submit words, one SUBJECT, one ACTIVITY, and
one LOCATION
We all know how this works, theres a giant intelligent blender in
somebodys basement yadda yadda, you create art based on the words it
selects. But first, submit your words!
t h e s e s p e c i f i c w o r d s
warpus HOLY DRACULA ON A UNICYCLE, I THINK THE WORDS ARE READY
note, those are NOT the words
Cthulu wouldnt be a bad set though
dracula / preparing words / on a unicycle
but you think we can do even better than that?
warpus the subject.. as selected by the hyperintelligent AI blender that is
capable of blending multiple types of cheese at the same time..
THE SMURFS
you know, those little blue French things
Cthulu very drawable, ANSI has the colour blue
nitron Les Schtroumpfs!
warpus not the alternative rock band
Cthulu OK, and what are the smurfs doing? SMURFING of course
no wait, Im being handed a note
sorry, theyre GAMBLING
well thats what I said!
warpus thats all the smurfs ever do, I think
gamble with our emotions..
and where are they doing all this gambling??
Cthulu where are these little blue fuckers gambling anyway?
warpus well, let me see
oh of course..
at the mothersmurfin WHITE HOUSE
Cthulu surely you mean the blue house
or, like, the white mushroom
nitron where one typically gambles with the future
warpus im not really that familiar with smurf politics tbh
Cthulu oh well, I guess they found a way to hijack democracy
nitron did they elect Gargamel?
Cthulu maybe JD Vance is secretly an entire village of smurfs in a suit
nitron it would explain the blue mascara!
TooCool So, is the official blender for January 2025 ...... Smurfs /
gambling / white house
or are the words ...... Dracula / preparing words / on a unicycle
heh. I am certainly not sure
warpus I knew this joke would backfire
the words are SMURFS / GAMBLING / WHITE HOUSE
TooCool give me about 2 minutes to whip something up and will do a quick
submission
warpus lets haggle! how about spending 2 hours on it instead?
but do your thing
TooCool will do
tainted can i have 2 months pls
nitron Id settle for a week!
kirkman I wanna see a Smurf in a roulette wheel blasting the white house
like the UFO in the Independence Day poster.
i n t e r m i s s i o n
warpus alright, so.. everyone who is here.. and i know there are millions
listening
nitron looks around
warpus the deadline is at 4pm EST tomorrow sunday
that gives you about 24 hours and 48 minutes to smurf
Cthulu get out there and make art until you turn blue!
warpus you know what my great aunt from Pomerania told me once? She said:
The great thing about the blender is that youll never know who will
end up in the pack. It could be one of the usuals. It could be some
obscure name from the past. It could be a new undiscovered PETSCII
talent. It could be somebody who hasnt drawn ansi in 2 years. Or
somebodys mom, uncle, or brother. Or the postman. Or maybe even a
ghost then she passed me the crack pipe. And I was like.. whoa,
wait, youre smoking crack.. right now? But then I remembered that I
am right in the middle of a blender promo, DURING the blender. A
thing inside of a thing, much like you can have something inside of a
blender. The truth is that I am a bit bored right now and my smurfs
just arent looking like smurfs. My ansi looks more like the movie
avatar. But thats okay, because this is the blender, where almost
anything goes. But where we do draw the line somewhere. And you are
free to inspect that line. We have circles too, but dont touch
those.
warpus 19 HOURS LEFT UNTIL SMURFS / GAMBLING / WHITE HOUSE SUBMISSIONS ARE
DUE
if in 3 months time you sub a badass smurf 200 liner for the next
blender we will take it but I gotta admit that the chances of it
ending up on the podium will be very low if non-existent unless you
can somehow predict the next blenders 3 words and also make the ansi
about that or hope that nobody else submits anything, but I gotta
say, that would be an iconic blender pack if the words have nothing
to do with smurfs and the only ansi in it are epic tainted smurfs
smurfing around. so either way its a win/win for you if you just
start drawing now
warpus 15 SMURFS LEFT UNTIL GARGAMEL
warpus 12 SMURFETTES UNTIL YOUR BLUEST DREAMS COME TRUE
warpus AKA HALF-TIME, GET READY FOR THE BLENDER HALF-TIME SHOW
warpus WELL, THAT WAS IT, BACK TO THE ART
warpus THREE HOURS 45 MINUTES LEFT UNTIL YOU CAN BLUE YOURSELF
warpus TWO HOURS 45 MINUTES LEFT UNTIL GARGAMAPOCALYPSE
warpus AT THIS POINT YOU COULD WATCH Once Upon A Time In The West FROM START
TO FINISH AND STILL HAVE 2 MINUTES LEFT TO FINISH YOUR SUBMISSION
warpus 90 MINUTES LEFT
warpus YOU COULD STILL SQUEEZE IN My Neighbor Totoro AND HAVE 2 MINUTES LEFT
TO FINISH YOUR SUBMISSION, IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO
warpus UNDER ONE HOUR LEFT
warpus 10 MINUTES LEFT
warpus WHICH GIVES YOU ENOUGH TIME TO WATCH THE EXPERIMENTAL HUNGARIAN FILM
Feed Your Toes and 20 seconds to email your submission to Cthulu
warpus ONE MINUTE
warpus THATS IT FOLKS! THE BLENDER DEADLINE HAS OFFICIALLY ARRIVED
warpus IF YOU HAVE ANY LAST MINUTE SUBS you should probably send them in now
warpus with the deadline passed I am now no longer allowed to type in all
caps
s c o r i n g
warpus and thus the judging rituals can begin
warpus please gives us an undetermined amount of time to process and
announce the state of the podium
Cthulu Ok, quiet down you chattering masses
We have compo results for you
Well open with the standard honorable mention to Toocool who keeps
on submitting weird but thematically appropriate pieces that, lets
be frank, are never going to win. But the indomitable human spirit
triumphs overall!
Not a lot of entries, not a full podium, but
You know, people were complaining about the child terrorists in the
topic last time so we tried to be gentler but I think that one still
got more submissions
Team no child terrorism is losing at the ballot box
warpus can tell us about 2nd place
warpus oh yeah, 2nd place!
lets do this
Cthulu We were concerned that the winner was going to win by like
acclamation with no real competition
But very last minute this came in
warpus coming in second place today is LDA representing MISTIGRIS
Cthulu He gets a point
warpus ONE POINT FOR LDA
Cthulu Some political allegory in his entry
warpus bonus points for gargamlump
but not really bonus points
JUST ONE POINT
Cthulu A bonus gargamel point, which is not redeemable for a Blender point
But can it be transmuted into gold is the question
warpus can be redeemed in north korea for a hot pocket
Cthulu Thanks LDA!
warpus thankeedly oodly
Cthulu So surprise upset for first place
These two artists have gone head to head before but I think LDA has
always come out on top
I think this is his first first place win? For Darkman Almighty of
Mist, winning two more points
Blender points
warpus CONGRATS TO YOU DARKMAN ALMIGHTY
i n s a n e i n t h e b l e n d b r a i n
Cthulu Anyway, thats it for this Blender!
warpus its now time for everyone to bow and me to finally eat my dinner.
today im eating roasted vegetables topped with polish liver pate
Cthulu See you next time Apr 19-20!
warpus thats 420 for you stoners, so its easier to remember
Cthulu Oh 420 again we took that to the bank last year!
warpus i have already reached out to cypress hill
o n e m o r e t i m e !
if there ever is another blender, it will most likely be held:
if not sooner!
saturday, april 19th - sunday, april 20th, 2025
2:00pm - 2:00pm est
blender on EFnet
please join us. - hennifer
warpus
cthulu