Its... wa featuring by Norm MacDonalda brief appearance
- Hi
Welcome to the Lazarus Winter lingerie collection
Welcome to the next installment of this years issue of the monthly
reissuance known as the quarterly Lazarus Art Pack no. 14 v1.0.2.2.3r
We welcome you to a very special Lazarus pack divisible by 7, only the
second ever.
Welcome to the first ever Lazarus pack containing an odd number of breasts.
Just in time for Yule, we welcome you to our collection of warm cushy
textmode art that you can actually print out and wrap yourself in for
gronthp.
And now, all the way from Swabia or Sweden or something, please welcome our
European scene correspondants Zeromous and The Silent Killer, who will
provide commentary on the ongoing shortage of longage.
Entertainment Blocklys list of the 101 most powerful artists in the scene
is out! At 1, the mysterious mastermind behind BL5. At 2, you guessed
it, Frank Stallone. Hennifer rings in at 3 and Filth takes up the next 7
spots, including the 6 spot twice.
The 16colors website is mandating new textiness quotient standards that have
infuriated pixel artists around the world. Rallying under banners with
slogans like plz grunge my snake unruly bands have begun a march from the
pacific northwest to Germany, where the servers hosting the offending code
are located. The ever growing mass has demanded equal rights for all art,
whether it is made out of blocks or blade out of mocks
*Deadpans at camera for 3.2 seconds*
Lazarus has announced a perfect textiness quotient this month, surprising
analysts and exciting the American president, who reportedly said: if
anybody needs me, Ill be in my feelings in response to the news.
*Looks over to other camera*
Due to issues with the non-linear nature of space-time, the artist known
as knocturnal has joined the art collective known as Lazarus in time for
this pack, also in time for the last pack, and some packs in the past and
the future. Those who operate Lazarus from the shadows would like to
welcome knocturnal to the team, again, for the second, and fourth, and
seventeenth time to date and to come.
*Looks back to original camera*
Scene hack 45: change your handle to Aaardvark and have your art seen first
*Winks*
B7 have released their annual astrology almanac, featuring a life-size
foldout tribute to BL5 in the form of a goat. The calendar warns of a
tough year ahead for artists self-identifying as krad.
The summers Lazarus shoe sale was in the news again this week, after
mathematicians earlier confirmed that the energy required to create and
sell the shoes was equivalent to the energy output of the sun for 17 billion
years. Scientists hope to learn more about how energy and shoes work by
continuing to study the economical and ecological impact of the shoe sale for
decades to come. Lazarus scientists are meanwhile working on an energy
efficient method of shoe creation which involves Quip running in a large
hamster wheel for days at a time while sIMONkING plays the banjo.
And now a word from Lord Jazz and his vampire friends!
Im Lord Jazz, Im back and I just have
one question for all of you dumb fuxx
out there:
W H A T
T H E
F U C K
I S A
S N A K E
G R U N G E R ?!?!?
Thanks for reading and enjoy the art!
And remember, this pack is certified with a
FUCK
YEAH
TEXTINESS
quotient
Every block has been hand inspected by diligent Lazarus interns to ensure
textiness perfection. Error margins of up to 15 apply. Not applicable in
Quebec. Fear is the block killer. I will face my blocks until only I remain.