- mmxxii -
LZRS
xv
wa tk
PLEASE JOIN US FOR A QUINCEAERA CELEBRATION HONOURING
L A Z A R U S
ON SUNDAY, JUNE 26THAT 7:30 PM
at the
RENAISSANCE BALLROOMS
5713 NE 7TH STREET
MIAMI, FLORIDA 33471
Featuring the 15-strong Lazarus Court of Honour
Los gatos, como yo, caen de pie
No quiero jugar mi suerte por ti
No puedo con v pequena vivir
Pronto estare de aqui muy, muy lejos
Hoy es mi quinceaera, the day that I, Lazarus, release my 15th
pack and officially become a young woman. And I dont even have
to have gender-affirming surgery to do it!
Perhapsthe best part is that I have quince members! Many
legendary groups have had their Quince but none that I can recall
had 15 members when they released their 15th pack.
The thing that I hate most about my scene is that none of the
women in the scene are the same age as me, Asi que camino solo
en esta viaje.
The only Quince that I have ever attended was Abuela Mistigris
and that was 26 years ago, I was but a tiny bebe. Impure y B7
celebran su quince mientras yo estaba en coma y no pude asistir.
Everyone says CoOlPhAt had the leetest Quince in the history of
the scene, but I was away. BL5, Legacy, Sauna...all are way too
young. Amisha esta muerta, afortunadamente.
Asi que no tenia idea de que esperar.
Filth gave me a critical piece of advice: Buying vestidos no es
para pussies. He was just trying to get me to buy a dress from
his Redbubble, but he was still right.
We spent months drawing the perfect dress. We tried hi-rez. We
tried ripscript. Rowan suggested teletext, but I would rather die
than wear a Quince dress in teletext.
Ultimately, PPE TK helped me draw it. My dama dress is knee
length, a royal purple with an empire/babydoll waistline and a
pickup style skirt. The dress is mostly white and in greyscale
Misfit said everything is better in greyscale.Its not truly
a dress - but a top a beaded corset with a lace up back and
zipper underneath and 3 roses on each side acting as off the
shoulder straps and a skirt. The skirt, like my damas skirts
looks like a cupcake.Under the skirt, Ill wear a giant hoop to
make it poof out more. Hennifer, mi chamberlane mejor, will
regret this, as he must lift me as part of the waltz.
I WILL LOOK BEAUTIFUL
Si, ya es hora de limpiar las manchas de miel
Sobre El Mantel
Yo nunca supe actuar
Y mis labios se ven muertos de sed
No quiero dejarlo todo al azar
Entiendo que he comenzado a estorbar
Pronto estare de ti muy, muy lejos.
Top 5 Things I am worried about:
5. My chamberlane mejor is not drawing!
4. Cada vez que alguien me dibuja los pies, parece que lo hizo
Rob Liefeld.
3. No one has even outlined let alone shaded! the surprise
dance.
2. Mel Farr rated my makeup a 6.5/10.
1. Nail said my hair is shit.
So many people come and go as the Quince approaches. Zeromous
left us to sign with AEW. If he thinks Tony Khan can book him
better than I can, then hes more like -1 mouse. Still, we wish
him well. If hes positioned properly, he could definitely become
a 2-time Tag Team Champion.
Speaking of 2-Time Tag Team Champions, I seem to be getting lots
of new members as I experience this beautiful and heartfelt
transition to womanhood:
Nitron and Abstrakt are Canadian, so I can only assume that they
trained in Stu Harts Dungeon. Harvest is from Portugal, and if
you think I can write a punchline that involves Portugal and
harvests then you are wrong. Finally, all the way from Belgium
we are joined by TK - although he may not last long here as we
have demanded that he only release ansi under his real name
which is waaaaay cooler than TK but he refuses because he says
TK sounds very hardcore, and he wants to win the 24/7 hardcore
championship.
So, as always, the Lazarus World Heavyweight Championship
remains the most coveted, ONLY UNDISPUTED, most respected
championship belt in the entire wrestling industry and an NFOfile
that is supposed to be about my Quinceera becomess yet again
about professional wrestling.
Warpus wanted us to end with ENJOY OUR QUINCEERA PACK!! but I
explained to him how rude it is to tell people what to do or feel
so we are ending with this
PLEASE REACT HOWEVER YOU WANT TO OUR QUINCEAERA PACK
Ay, me voy otra vez
Ay, te dejo, ANSI
Tus rutinas de piel y tus ganas de huir
Yo no quiero cobardes que me hagan sufrir
Mejor le digo adios a tu boca de anis
Formal Attire in effect
tntL7